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Stupid Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #stupid


I hate when people in RL don't like me cause they're jealous of how pretty I am but they lie and try to say it's cause of my narcissism...


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Can't believe my husband didn't even get me a bday gift. I mean yeah, we're getting divorced, but it's not like it's finalized yet.


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The problem with 8 hour meetings is the iPhone only has a 6 hour battery.


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Ugh. I put the turkey in the oven almost 3 hours ago but it keeps pecking at the oven door.


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Just pulled a muscle wiping myself.


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Snakes on a plane was a stupid name for that movie. There were people on that plane too.


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Sometimes I have impure thoughts about my electric toothbrush.


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2012 is my year of philanthropy. Let's begin by making a crushed group salad of all our meds.

By the way, what does philanthropy mean?


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I hope everyone is wearing their chicken nugget awareness ribbon today


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Twitter is so much easier than real life.


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Make hash while the sun shines, because smoking hay when it's raining is pretty damn weird.


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If he drives a Prius, he'll let you put it in his butt.


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I just peed in my pants to warm myself up, was nice for a couple of minutes, but now I'm even colder.


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sometimes i move my things & then 5 minutes later i'm like WHERE ARE MY THINGS & that's pretty much what it's like to be me


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I idiot-proofed my house and now I'm locked out.


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This weekend is the Polar Bear Swim in the sea. It's an annual gig & they raise tons of $$ for charity; I'm crazy, but I'm not a "they!"


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I get it. It' a full moon. Now get your butt out of my face.


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I just had two automatic doors in a row not open for me. Proving that not even automated machines respect me...


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I think I might be addicted to oxygen.


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A smoke detector is especially useless when you're searching for a lost cigarette on the beach.


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