Stupid Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #stupid

The power went out earlier and I'm still shaken up. I wasn't home, but it's terrifying that there was a time when I couldn't have watched TV

Make hash while the sun shines, because smoking hay when it's raining is pretty damn weird.

My maid woke me up this morning vacuuming and now I'm in traffic heading to my beach house. Why do bad things always happen to good people?

If he drives a Prius, he'll let you put it in his butt.

Sometimes I have impure thoughts about my electric toothbrush.

I hate when I have zero situational awareness & say "I love you" to Boss as he walks out the door.

Ugh. I put the turkey in the oven almost 3 hours ago but it keeps pecking at the oven door.

I just peed in my pants to warm myself up, was nice for a couple of minutes, but now I'm even colder.

Snakes on a plane was a stupid name for that movie. There were people on that plane too.

Amazing how every year my birthday falls on the same date.

I get it. It' a full moon. Now get your butt out of my face.

I changed my Facebook relationship status to 'married' just so people will ask me questions. I'm so lonely.

I hope everyone is wearing their chicken nugget awareness ribbon today

Just pulled a muscle wiping myself.

That's not chocolate you idiot, but just wait a second let me taste it.
Like I said that's not chocolate you idiot.

I think I might be addicted to oxygen.

I hate when people in RL don't like me cause they're jealous of how pretty I am but they lie and try to say it's cause of my narcissism...

Most female dogs I know are nice and placid. I don't get the comparison.

It wasn't until we got back to her place that I realised the cool tattoo on the back her neck was just the tag from her top sticking out.

sometimes i move my things & then 5 minutes later i'm like WHERE ARE MY THINGS & that's pretty much what it's like to be me