#quotes

Turner let his face fell into his hands. "I'm never going to touch her again", he moaned. "He's never going to touch me again!" they heard Miranda roar."Well,it doesn't look like you'll have much argument from your wife on that point", Olivia chirped. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#funny

To attain wisdom, sum up the childlike wonder of foolishness. Then the gullible will become judicious. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #quotes #funny

There really isn't much use in getting into a pissing contest since I have to sit down to pee anyway. ↗

— Tammy Blackwell

#funny

Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles. ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-quotes #humor #humorous #tags-funny-and-random #funny

Ish #109 "If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker. ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-quotes #humor #humorous #tags-funny-and-random #funny

Shit down your computer, and restart. ↗

— Claire Chilton

#funny-quotes #i-t-quotes #techie-quotes #typo-quotes #funny

Not to alarm you or anything, but I think you just made a deal with a Mexican gang." I've read Simone Elkeles books. I know how this whole garage as a front thing works. Fate Succumbs ↗

— Tammy Blackwell

#funny-quotes #funny

Ish #21 "Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat! ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-but-true #funny-quotes #humerous #humor #funny

I Take Life Very Seriously: One Joke At A Time. ↗

— Sandra Chami Kassis

#life #philosophy #quotes #truth #wisdom-inspirational

... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#dark-humor #ego #egotism #egotist #funny