#air

If she kept wondering about how much of her life Bran engineered, she’d end up on a funny farm knitting caps for ducks. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#anna-cornick #bran-cornick #fair-game #humor #marrok

Ladies and gentleman," he said over the speakers, "welcome aboard this recently liberated Gulfstream V. If I could have your attention for just a few moments, I'd like to go over the safety features of this aircraft. It has an engine, to make us go, and wings, to keep us in the air. There are seatbelts, which won't do you an awful lot of good if we fly into the side of a mountain. ↗

— Derek Landy

#craft #fly #funny #malifecent #plane

What the hell is so funny?", He snapped. His hands now planted on his hips. Claire waved a dismissive hand, " I'm sorry", she giggled then took a deep breath to get herself under control. " It's fine Henry really, if it makes you feel any better, you have an amazing ass too", she said.Henry snorted and rolled his eyes. " Whatever ↗

— Andria Large

#henry #funny

Shit down your computer, and restart. ↗

— Claire Chilton

#funny-quotes #i-t-quotes #techie-quotes #typo-quotes #funny

Love is a fairytale blah, blah, blah. ↗

— Jessica Fortunato

#fairytale #funny #heart #love #sarcasm-humor

I like watching fashion models walk down the runway, do a little turn, and splatter across the windshield of an airliner. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #modeling #funny

Good cheaters always have honest intentions towards each other. It is what makes a fair advantage possible. ↗

— Bauvard

#fairness #funny #humor #funny

For loose teeth the tooth fairy recommends tying your tooth to a brick and throwing said brick down the stairs. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

I seem to be allergic to whatever that terrible smell is," said Gateman when the urge to sneeze had finally subsided. "What terrible smell?" "The air," said Gateman. "It smells...different." "That's called oxygen," said Professor Boxley. "Freh air. No cars, no buses, no factories; just pure, clean oxygen. ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#allergy #funny #oxygen #sneeze #funny

In one of his darker moments, the irony started him laughing and he couldn't stop, and the sounds that came from him, before finally tapering into sobs, were so far from mirth they might have been the forced inversion of laughter-like a soul pulled inside out to reveal its rawest meats. ↗

— Laini Taylor

#beautiful-description #despair #emotions #karou #beauty