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Funny Bashes

Read funny quotes and bashes for your daily quick-witted sayings

That tattoo you have of your daughters name surrounded by demons and dragons sure is a lovely tribute to her, mate.


Some of your tweets are so wonderfully strange, I think I'm on LSD instead of DSL


Life would be simpler if pants really caught on fire.


Pitt Bull really wanted a RedBull, but he couldn't find one because dogs are color blind.


Your first love is unforgettable.


If you have to ask if it was good for her…it wasn’t


Swingers always bail out of real relationships.

Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching.


When someone pees while they’re on the phone with you, you know they really like you.

I take my fun seriously.

In a world of lazers, the man with the mirror is God.


No matter how "busy" a persons day might be. If they "really care", they'll always find time for you.


My health insurance is so bad, my doctor was only allowed to perform a semicolonoscopy on me.


Strangely enough, the philosophy student came before the chicken AND the egg.


It's weird how you can go from talking everyday to not talking at all.


To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

I want a PBJ sandwich but I want you to make it. Yes, you.


This cat is clearly a genius.


My internet is too slow today. Does anyone know that Morse code stuff?


The worst mental illness is love.


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