Message from God

I am sure you'll not believe me when I say that this is really me. I got your number from a friend and I just wanted to thank you for your dedication. You are a great fan!   »

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The world is dying, %NAME%. You have to do something.   »

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%NAME%, you have been chosen. You are the next prophet to the Lord. Your future awaits you.   »

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You are one of the persons I am really looking forward to see in hell.   »

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I know what you did yesterday. If you do not make it right, this will have consequences.   »

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Dear %NAME%. I know what you think of me. Why don't you tell me in person?   »

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I am sorry, but I don't think we can meet again, %NAME%. You are just too small for me. I like tall guys. :*   »

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Just so you know. Your new haircut is not the perfect look for you, %NAME%. Why don’t you try bangs?   »

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Hey, %NAME%! You are my best friend, you know? Can you please help me out one more time? I am outside your house right now, please!   »

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I really need to talk to you, %NAME%! There’s something on my mind I need to share with you. Please let me now if you are available.   »

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