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Idocy Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #idocy


Go to the police and tell them you were robbed, then see how long it takes the sketch artist to realize you’re describing the Hamburglar.


#idocy  


We live in a world full of dumb people carrying smart phones.


#idocy  


I'm drinking a number between one and ten.


#idocy  


Forget Gamma Rays, to turn into the Hulk all I've got to do is try to untangle something.


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If everyone jumped off a bridge I'd be all "Why wasn't I invited, Mom?"


#idocy  


Don't even try calling yourself a party animal unless you put two kinds of toothpaste on the brush at the same time.


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I would totally go to bed right now if I could find it.


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I'm in a pub and no one's talking to me. But by posting this I'm talking to over 4000 people. I win right?


#idocy  


Well look, I can get into your mind and then get into your panties or I can get into your panties and then into your my mind, whatever.


#idocy  


I'm just stating the facts.

Girls who are full of themselves have never been full of me.


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Birthday party is the same theme as last year!


#idocy  


I'm not always goofy and lame, sometimes I'm asleep.


#idocy  


My lotion says it has hydration technology. Unless it tells me where the nearest bar is & gets me to not feel hung over the next day... STFU


#idocy  


I'm not one to tell you what to do or anything, but marrying a rich man without a pre-nup is the best way to start off a divorce.


#idocy  


My iPhone won't stop correcting "love" to "like." how does it know everything?


#idocy  


Our babys birthday party was today & none of these bastards got him the 2 things I told em all he wanted: a cordless drill & a case of vodka


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If everything happens for a reason why am I blowing angle dust smoke into my parrots cage and telling him to say "show me the money"


#idocy  


"If you're not out of bed by the time I count to 5, then I will count to 5 again" ~ how I parent.


#idocy  


I can't wait to find love and date it briefly.


#idocy  


When you start a project the day it's due and can't ask any questions about it because then they'll know you just started it. That.


#idocy  



Roll the dice for #idocy
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