Idocy Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #idocy

It's hard to find crotchless panties that fit comfortably over my hernia truss.

While I'm here reading tweets at night my kids plays World of Warcraft and I have to listen to kids sing on voice chat. I suffer to be here.

Apparently today is some big deal.

Its really tough being the hottest person in the room every where I go. Its crazy it hasn't gone to my head yet.

My parents should be proud of me since I'm addicted to music, texting, food, sleeping, and the Internet instead of drugs.

I've tried to kill so many of you with mind powers.

Surgeons are like mechanics the way they'll both tell you,
"We've fixed your problem but while we were in there we found something else."

Do these glasses make me look?

Looking like you went down on the MAC counter at Macy's is not a good look ladies.

I have enough beer to last a lifetime if I died yesterday.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can’t.

It's amazing that humanity was able to accomplish anything before air conditioning.

Let's see if this fits in your suggestion box.

Just got on a Virgin train. And by that, I mean one going to a World Of Warcraft convention.

Merry Chrisolstichanukwanzaa!

I will not see a movie unless the preview has hidden camera clips of an audience reacting in enjoyment.

I bet it’s pretty disappointing when your spank bank send you a notice of insufficient funds.

You know you've made it when all of your wine glasses match.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

If you don’t get drunk every day on purpose, you’re doing it wrong!