Idocy Bashes

Ok, you're right. And so am I.

#idocy  

I wish "Friends" was on so I could turn the TV off.

#idocy  

The Scooby-Doo villains knew better than to ever haunt The Special Olympics. Too many medaling kids.

#idocy  

Sometimes you just got to listen to your heart, and my heart is like "listen to your stomach".

#idocy  

Kiss me like we're handicapped in a food court.

#idocy  

We're robots programmed to suspect we are robots but not to know for sure.

#idocy  

my stoner half-brother is playing angry birds on his phone with the sound turned up if anyone is wondering why I'll be in jail soon

#idocy  

Our politicians should walk the middle road.

So they can be hit by oncoming cars.

#idocy  

Whose idea was it anyway to put a pyramid with an eye on the dollar? I'm thinking either Satan or Ben Franklin.

#idocy  

My ma is not a predjudiced but she does hate wide people.

#idocy  

How come people that are lost in the wilderness and eat nuts and berries are really skinny but when I do it I gain 50 lbs

#idocy  

Why waste money on bedroom slippers when dog hair adheres so nicely after you put lotion on your feet?

#idocy  

Dont cry because its over, cry because you have herpes, a UTI, and a diminished sense of self-worth.

#idocy  

I don't trust fat people that smoke. Never have.

#idocy  

(sigh) "What's wrong, most girls?"

#idocy  

This room is so full of farts it's not even safe to light a cigarette.

#idocy  

I'm not perfect, but there are parts of me that are EXCELLENT.

#idocy  

I don't trust lunch meat that's in the shape of a square.

#idocy  

Yes, it's true...

I worship at the altar of potato water.

#idocy  

That tattoo you have of your daughters name surrounded by demons and dragons sure is a lovely tribute to her, mate.

#idocy