No subscription or hidden extras
Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #funny
I can't see how anyone could be depressed this time of year with both Santa Claus and baby Jesus around.
I've learned men don't want a kind, smart, funny, beautiful woman who's monogamous & looks devastating in a thong. Still, I refuse to change
“He went to Jared,” would be a really awkward way of telling a girl that her boyfriend cheated on her with a dude named Jared.
I don't kill my brain cells when I drink. - They bravely sacrifice their lives for a higher cause.
I've been awake for an hour and I've already cried twice. I don't know what that means, but I bet its going to involve tampons.
It's "For instance", not "For instant".
The only thing instant is the speed in which I think you're a moron.
Just in case you're not on Twitter at 11:59pm tonight, I'm gonna tweet "Getting some last-minute shopping in". Should be pretty funny.
From now on whenever someone gives me shit, I'm going to reply with "AWW, are you jealous of how good I am?".
Combined, me and my wife have 3 college degrees and by the end of next summer she will have her 4th.
I met an archeologist who apparently doesn't like me.
All I did was give him a used tampon & ask him what period it came from.
If ya just shake the camera around a bit you'll find you don't need all those fancy Hollywood special effects.
Australian filmmakers.