#ate

The following is a list of statements made many years ago by experts in their fields. At the time they were said they sounded intelligent. With the passing of time, they sound idiotic. ↗

— Sean Covey

#history #old-inaccurate-sayings #funny

Men were good for one thing only. Killing spiders. Other than that, I was on my own. It was sad though. Where was the chivalry of yesteryear? ↗

— Kate Carlisle

#funny #kate-carlisle #funny

Doode," George said. He'd practiced all morning but still didn't get it quite right. "Nope, more u, less oo. Duuude." "Dude." "Dude." "Okay, dude." George nodded. "How's it hanging?" Jack asked. "How am I supposed to answer that?" George looked at him. "I don't think Kaldar said anything about that. I guess 'good'? I don't get it. What's hanging anyway?" George shook his head. "Your stuff, you nimwit." His stuff...Oh. Ha! "In that case, it's hanging long!" Jack dissolved in giggles. "Long, get it? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#fate-s-edge #funny #george #hanging #ilona-andrews

At the door, Audrey called, "Are you coming?" "No, just breathing hard, love." He glanced at her and was rewarded by an outraged glare, followed by, "Oh, my God! ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#fate-s-edge #funny #ilona-andrews #kaldar #the-edge

One could mention many loveable traits in Smee. For instance, after killing, it was his spectacles he wiped instead of his weapon. ↗

— J.M. Barrie

#humor #irony #j-m-barrie #killing #neverland

Both positive and negative thinking are contagious. ↗

— Stephen Richards

#defer #delay #dilly-dallying #laziness #postpone

The problem with procrastination is it’s been around since the beginning of time it seems. ↗

— Stephen Richards

#defer #delay #dilly-dallying #laziness #postpone

The web is a dangerous place for a mind begging to slack off and be distracted by nonsense. ↗

— Michelle M. Pillow

#fiction #internet #michelle-pillow #procrastinate #procrastination

It was like walking into a treasure trove of books, hoarded by pirate librarians. ↗

— Pseudonymous Bosch

#librarian #pirate #secret #treasure #librarians

If there are two clones, one good and one evil, I can’t kill on sight alone. It’s the same with love. Some love hurts, and some love elevates, but as to which one is which, they are two sides to the same sandwich.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#elevation #evil #good #hurt #joy