#be

Even more blood welled up and spilled down his arm, splattering onto the ground. “Camille’s carpet,” Magnus protested. “It’s blood,” said Will. “She ought to be thrilled. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#camille-belcourt #humor #magnus-bane #will-herondale #humor

Bes had indeed put on his ugly outfit. He climbed onto the roof of the limbo and stood there, legs planted, arms akimbo, like superman-exept with only the underwear. I wasn't sure what to say except: "Put some clothes on!" "These children are under my protection," Bes insisted. "I don't know you," I said, "I never met you before today." "Nonsense. You expressly asked for my attention." "I didn't ask for the Speedo Patrol! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#bes #humor #sadie-kane #humor

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall take flack from both sides."- Unofficial UN Motto ↗

— Robert Lynn Asprin

#diplomacy #humor #motto #humor

I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby. ↗

— Criss Jami

#belief #clever #comparison #control #crying

What if a pair of us head off on our own?" Nollin proposed, panting. "A small detachment might avoid detection." "It's a gamble," Ferrin said. "If the duo gets noticed, they'll be defenseless. Who'd you have in mind?" "Some key delegates," Nollin said. "Perhaps myself and Aram." Rachel shook her head. Evidently, Nollin had noticed the critical role Aram had played during the escape. Ferrin laughed openly. "Aram, you've been promoted to essential!" "I'm generally more appreciated at night," the big man grumbled. "I'm going to the table, Nollin." "Maybe we should all remain together," Nollin repented. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#brandon #humor #mull #rebellion #seeds

Not that I lack confidence in the outcome," Ferrin said, "but would you consider entrusting the piece of my neck to somebody who is not about to confront one of the most deadly beings in the world? ↗

— Brandon Mull

#brandon #humor #mull #rebellion #seeds

So you questioned him?" Raisa prompted. "What did he say for himself?" "Well, the first thing Gillen does is steal his purse and beat him with a club." Amon said. ↗

— Cinda Williams Chima

#club #humor #question #humor

So hey, once Joshua heals your brother, you want to go do something, get some pomegranate juice, a falafel,or get married or something? ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #humor

She was so young how could she understand… Exactly how young was she Matthew’s mouth went dry. “Dearest how old are you ” “Almost twenty.” Damnation. He was a bloody cradle robber. ↗

— Lydia Dare

#robber #underage #humor

Oh, I know. They’re dwarfs pretending to be elves. No, they’re not dwarfs either. Okay, okay, they’re “little people,” I’m sorry! Can’t believe I have to be politically correct when you’re the only one who can hear me. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#dog #humor #oberon #humor