#con

A brick could help me hold down a job. Hey, in an economy as bad as this, every little bit helps. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick #brick-and-blanket #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #depression

[I'll teach you] how not to leave the windows of your heart open when it looks like rain and how everyone has a stump where something necessary was amputated. ↗

— Steve Toltz

#human-condition #love #love

A book of verses underneath the bough A flask of wine, a loaf of bread and thou Beside me singing in the wilderness And wilderness is paradise now. ↗

— Omar Khayyám

#love #paradise #poetry #love

Whatever problems we had back then don’t exist anymore. It’s why we have this second chance, and we can’t throw it away. Besides, you were the one who said we’re not exactly the same as we were back then. If we’re not the same, then things can turn out differently. ↗

— Michelle Madow

#second-chances #love

Spontaneous abortion: the opposite of immaculate conception. God has compensated for Christianity’s violent history by revealing that innocent blood does not have to be spilt. ↗

— Bauvard

#conception #funny #god #humor #funny

It’s all about control. Control is illusory. No matter what university you go to, no matter what degree you hold, if your goal is to become master of your own destiny, you have more to learn. Parkinson’s is a perfect metaphor for lack of control. Every unwanted movement in my hand or arm, every twitch that I cannot anticipate or arrest, is a reminder that even in the domain of my own being, I am not calling the shots. I tried to exert control by drinking myself to a place of indifference, which just exacerbated the sense of miserable hopelessness. ↗

— Michael J. Fox

#improvement #parkinson-s #funny

These golf people seem unnaturally obsessed. They dress kind of funny too, and it's become a running joke for Gretchen and I to e-mail the most ridiculous golfing pictures back and forth to each other. Sometimes she adds hysterical captions. She never puts them on PitchBitch, though. We can't threaten the gravy train. ↗

— Shawn Klomparens

#golf #humor #funny

We’re adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you’re counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#cute #funny #humour #romance #romantic

Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden. ↗

— Bauvard

#confession #funny #humor #prostration #toilet

If consulted about my conception, I would have taken one look at the two pitiful specimens contributing to the project and considered it a poor investment. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny