#dio

Does this dress make my ass look big?" I ask him. "You look like a fat cow in high heels," he laughs. Yes, I am married to this idiot. ↗

— Patricia Kunnyburger

---

#cow #idiot #marriage #marriage

Major Major had been born too late and too mediocre. Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was. ↗

— Joseph Heller

---

#major-major #mediocre #mediocrity #men

Of course there are people who would like to eat breakfast without the screams of toddlers all around them, but those people should get over themselves and stop being stuck up and idiotic. ↗

— Jon Ronson

---

#being #breakfast #course #eat #eat breakfast