#english

An English gentleman never shines his shoes, but then nor does a lazy bastard. ↗

— Will Self

#humor

I'm English. We're about as tactful as a hot poker up the bum, most of the time. ↗

— L.H. Thomson

#funny #giggles #humor #funny

The hallway was lined with numbered doors, odd numbers on one side and even numbers on the other, and large ornamental vases, too large to hold flowers and too small to hold spies. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor #humor

I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#english #funny #man #vulnerable #funny

lectures broke into one's day and were clearly a terrible waste of time, necessary no doubt if you were reading law or medicine or some other vocational subject, but in the case of English, the natural thing to do was talk a lot, listen to music, drink coffee and wine, read books, and go to plays, perhaps be in plays… ↗

— Stephen Fry

#humour #pretentiousness #university #music

All I need is a badly mangled, irate sentence stalking me. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#writers-world #humor

Her back to me, she said, “I know what Paul thinks. Everyone thinks I didn’t love Porter, that I just married him for the money, but Porter and I --” She shrugged. As avowals of lasting love go, I’ve sat through more professional presentations. But I said, “No outsider can understand a relationship between two people.” Hell, sometimes even the people in the relationship couldn’t understand it. ↗

— Josh Lanyon

#death

The embrace of present and past time, in which English antiquarianism becomes a form of alchemy, engenders a strange timelessness. It is as if the little bird which flew through the Anglo-Saxon banqueting hall, in Bede's Historia Ecclesiastica Gentis Anglorum, gained the outer air and became the lark ascending in Vaughan Williams's orchestral setting. The unbroken chain is that of English music itself. ↗

— Peter Ackroyd

#literature #music #imagination

Fraud, robbery, and murder have characterized the English usurpation of the government of our country. Why, for the last fifty years we have been robbed in the matter of taxes of hundreds of millions. ↗

— John Edward Redmond

#characterized #country #english #fifty #fraud

Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life. ↗

— Cecil Rhodes

#englishman #first #life #lottery #prize