#eric

So, Americans, then. Self-appointed vigilante defenders of the world, kind of like Superman, if Superman was retarded and only fought crime when he felt like it. ↗

— Yahtzee Croshaw

#americans #funny #superheroes #funny

Ha," I said. "Oh, ha-ha. Yeah, ’cause they love me. You see how many vampires are up here? Zero, right?" One," said Eric, stepping out of the stairwell. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#quinn #sookie-stackhouse #vampire #love

Asia is an entertainment, Europe is a dream, America is an imprisonment and Rest is a nightmare. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#asia #countries #europe #funny #joke

Remove yourself, sir! ↗

— David McCullough

#david-mccullough #funny #history #john-adams #funny

You're lips are bloody.' He seized my face in both hands and kissed me. It's hard not to respond when a master of the art of kissing is laying one on you. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#eric-northman #kissing #living-dead-in-dallas #sookie-stackhouse #art

...with the most infinite tenderness I have ever known in my life, he put his arms around me, gently, gently, and I embraced him around the neck, and we touched... ↗

— Katherine Anne Porter

#life

It’s just amazing how long this country has been going to hell without ever having got there. ↗

— Andy Rooney

#funny #hell #funny

Every twenty minutes on the Appalachian Trail, Katz and I walked farther than the average American walks in a week. For 93 percent of all trips outside the home, for whatever distance or whatever purpose, Americans now get in a car. On average, the total walking of an American these days - that's walking of all types: from car to office, from office to car, around the supermarket and shopping malls - adds up to 1.4 miles a week...That's ridiculous. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#appalachian-trail #cars #hiking #transporation #walking

Mac knocks on the door. After he updates Spider, he asks, “Do you have your weapon with you?” “Yes, it’s like my American Express card. I never leave home without it.” Mac hears Spider lock and load the weapon. Reassured that Spider is going to be all right, he walks out the front door. ↗

— David McKoy

#weapons #home

Democracy: when artists lose patronage and are simply patronized. This is the case everywhere except America, where true art has never existed, and democracy has recently followed suit. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#art #democracy #funny #art