#na

With his eyes and those hands there won't be a woman safe in all the world when he starts hunting after the ladies.' 'Courting, dear,' my father corrected gently. 'Semantics,' she shrugged. ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#courtship #humor #humour #kingkiller-chronicle #kvothe

Did you let him know that if he can't see fit to return your blow job immediately, you will have no choice but to sue? ↗

— Meg Cabot

#inspirational #romance #humor

Great idea," I said. "Call the police. Call the fucking police. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#fighting #frank-sinatra #humor #police #humor

I ignored him, concentrating on Lilith. "According to the stories, after you were expelled from Eden you went down into Hell, where you coupled with demons and gave birth to all the monsters that have plagued the world." "I was young," said Lilith. "You know how it is. We all do things we later regret, when we're being rebellious teenagers. ↗

— Simon R. Green

#lilith #monsters #rebellion #teenagers #humor

That's all you've got for me?" I drew a long breath and let it out slowly. "You know. I might be able to get more clues from Google. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#humor #inspirational #humor

When he overheard the boys whispering that he was a queer, he said he regarded that as a compliment since so many of the world’s great men had been homosexual. Alas, I’ve been sentenced to a life mundane heterosexuality. I can only hope that a few of you will be more fortunate. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#inspirational #humor

The difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist laughs to forget but a pessimist forgets to laugh. ↗

— Tom Bodett

#humor

Your king is SUPPOSED to explode? What kind of government system is that? ↗

— Jefferson Smith

#government #humor #humour #kings #monarchy

love yourself,.,.,.,for the sake of your better future ↗

— John Grisham

#inspirational

No one ever excused his way to success. ↗