#not

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? ↗

— George Carlin

#anyone #driving #ever #faster #going

There is nothing enduring in life for a woman except what she builds in a man's heart. ↗

— Judith Anderson

#enduring #except #heart #life #man

What's another word for Thesaurus? ↗

— Steven Wright

#another #thesaurus #word

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you Saying, 'Damn. We fucked up. ↗

— Cheyenne McCray

#demons-not-included #humor #humor

I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#age

I love romantic comedy, but I think you have to have another idea that you're chasing along with romantic comedy. ↗

— James L. Brooks

#another #chasing #comedy #i #i love

Most things are forgotten over time. Even the war itself, the life-and-death struggle people went through is now like something from the distant past. We’re so caught up in our everyday lives that events of the past are no longer in orbit around our minds. There are just too many things we have to think about everyday, too many new things we have to learn. But still, no matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away. They remain with us forever, like a touchstone. ↗

— Haruki Murakami

#letting-go #life #life-lessons #love #memories

The Christian notion of the possibility of redemption is incomprehensible to the computer. ↗

— Vance Packard

#computer #incomprehensible #notion #possibility #redemption

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act. ↗

— James Agate

#cannot #conceal #director #engaged #fact

The good news is there's no devil. The bad news is there's no heaven. There's nothing. ↗

— Kerry Packer

#bad news #devil #good #good news #heaven