#obit

I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#ever #got #i #items #mother

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up. ↗

— Albert Brooks

#die #first #i #obituary #screwed

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#begin #coffee #day #each #else

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. ↗

— Clarence Darrow

#great #great pleasure #i #killed #man

I had real plans for my next decade and felt I'd worked hard enough to earn it. Will I really not live to see my children married? To watch the World Trade Center rise again? To read - if not indeed write - the obituaries of elderly villains like Henry Kissinger and Joseph Ratzinger? ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#center #children #decade #earn #elderly

Yet for quixotic reasons--namely, that I enjoyed writing obits--I had decided to scale back on articles about city life in order to write exclusively about the city's dead. For even less money. It was a strange and inexplicable career move. ↗

— Avi Steinberg

#death #obituary #death

An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing. ↗

— Quentin Crisp

#form #installment #last #missing #obituary

I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices I have read with pleasure. ↗

— Clarence Darrow

#die #few #i #never #notices

I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. ↗

— Benjamin Franklin

#every #get #grab #i #look

It's like obituaries, when you die they finally give you good reviews. ↗

— Roger Maris

#finally #give #good #like #obituaries