#phr

What doesn't kill us makes us funnier. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#paraphrased #stories #humor

So many things to see, people to do. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#paraphrased #humor

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a thirty-something woman in possession of a satisfying career and fabulous hairdo must be in want of very little ↗

— Shannon Hale

#romantic-humor #humor

We didn't land on plymouth rock, Plymouth rock landed on us". ↗

— Malcolm X

#cole-porter #paraphrased #song-lyrics #song-lyrics

Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#doomed-to-repeat-it #history #humor #paraphrased #humor

When a man plans, a woman laughs. ↗

— David Wong

#humour #men #paraphrased #plans #women

It's better to have loved and lost than to be nagged about buying a damn anniversary gift every year. ↗

— Joey Green

#love #paraphrased #humor

I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#paraphrased #self-expression #death

On Christmas. "Santa Claus represents God on assistance," said Clyde. "Santa Claus is a negative-idealed god, the pagan god of material worship," Leon stated. "Christmas means the rebirth, regeneration. Some people have Christmas every day. The Christmas tree stands up and either the wife trims it or they trim it together with righteous-idealed sexual intercourse. Or the husband prays to God through his Christmas tree and trims his bodily Christmas tree. Christ-mast; the mast of Christ, the upstanding penis—that's what it means to me." "Santa Claus is a good symbolization for Christmas," said Joseph. "Department stores, shopping, the coming of the New Year. Christmas means better business in the stores. ↗

— Milton Rokeach

#psychoanalysis #santa-claus #schizophrenics #through-the-looking-glass #business

It’s better to end something and start another than to imprison yourself in hoping for the impossible. Life can never promise to always be happy but life gets better after you accept things you just can’t change. For you Jelle, from me.. with luv. He-he! ↗

— Marione Ashley

#pocketbook #change