#rue

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell. ↗

— Criss Jami

#funny-but-true #hell #humor #introversion #introvert

I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#book #funny #life #lifetime #read

Come on," I said, taking his hand. Clutching the afghan with the other hand, he trailed down the hall after me, a snow white giant in tiny red underwear. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#funny #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #funny

The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it. ↗

— Criss Jami

#arrogance #arrogant #boasting #bragging #challenges

Internet access came before pride.  ↗

— Jessica Park

#funny

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-but-true #humor #humorous #humorous-quotes #funny

Evil influence is like a nicotine patch, you cannot help but absorb what sticks to you. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#bad-company #bad-influence #evil #evil-people #evil-thoughts

Life is too short to dance with ugly men ↗

— Christina Dodd

#funny #so-true #funny

I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one. ↗

— Criss Jami

#attraction #fantasy #funny #funny-but-true #gallant

I do know you're nothing like him. But you're still....still a lot. A lot to handle. I don't mean your junk, obviously, as we've not gotten to the fondling-bits stage yet. And I can't believe I just talked about your junk. ↗

— Nicole Peeler

#funny-and-random #jane-true #funny