#wome

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships. ↗

— Gilda Radner

#women #humor

When a man plans, a woman laughs. ↗

— David Wong

#humour #men #paraphrased #plans #women

When something needs to be said, you look for a man to say it. But when something needs actually to be done, you look for a woman. ↗

— P.B. Kerr

#men #women #humor

And before you barrel through some idiotic Cosmo girl list of how-well-do-you-know-your-man questions, let me say that I don't know squat about him except that he kisses like a god and screws like a devil. ↗

— Kristin Hannah

#women #humor

...Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says women aren't funny,' or 'Rick Fenderman says women aren't funny... Do you have anything to say to that?' Yes. We don't fucking care if you like it. I don't say it out loud, of course, because Jerry Lewis is a great philanthropist, Hitchens is very sick, and the third guy I made up. ↗

— Tina Fey

#feminism #humor #women #funny

Some women remind you of a good book. Others remind you of a bad movie. ↗

— Darnell Lamont Walker

#movies

Because women can do nothing except love, they've given it a ridiculous importance. They want to persuade us that it's the whole of life. It's an insignificant part. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#women #life

It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #poetry #humor

I was seducing shepherdesses when you weren't a twinkle in your great-grandcestor's eyes. I think I know what I'm doing. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #women #humor

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money. ↗

— E.W. Howe

#women #humor