Annoying Bashes

If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.

Sometimes I regret being nice, apologizing when I didn't do anything wrong, and for making unworthy people a priority in my life.

It's a good thing I'm awake for no reason.

I hate it when I go to sleep and then I wake up.

Life is meaningless. Everything fun is illegal, delicious food makes you fat and the Kardashians are celebrities.

I think being a child really ruined being an adult for me.

Guys, I figured out why NYC is the city that never sleeps. It's the techno music from the rooftop bar above my hotel room.

I wish I didn't suck so bad at being a human being.

Today's middle finger goes out to people who get exactly what they ask for and then have no idea how to treat it.

Why can’t dumb people be fun like puppies and not tedious like babies?

I can't go to heaven because I'm afraid of heights.

"Just kidding!" is one of the biggest lies there is.

If you don't like me, I'm cool with that, just don't pretend that you do.

It seems that being so annoying is a talent.

The sleep time I'll waste by being too lazy to get up and pee is mind boggling.

It's such a disappointment when a good looking girl has a shitty personality.

We stay up late every night. Regret it every morning. Then do it all over again.

I never understood why guys leave their beautiful girlfriends for hoes that stay lookin like donkey from shrek

So who's the prick that decided to cut out nap time after kindergarten?

I respect you. I'll give you the truth and I don't care if you spit or swallow it.