Annoying Bashes

Some days I want to carve your initials in the branch of a tree and then beat you over the head with it.

I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at.

Guys, I figured out why NYC is the city that never sleeps. It's the techno music from the rooftop bar above my hotel room.

It appears evolution is playing a nasty prank on us.

hey, reality.
it's nothing personal, but i think we need a break.

It sucks how you can't be sociable and well-liked if you don't like singing along to 'Sweet Caroline'.

Ladies, we don't like stories about your ex-boyfriends. Think logically before you just talk to talk.

I don't understand people and how they can wake up one morning and decided someone isn't important to them.

Politicians that act like they give a shit. Excuse me while I go throw up.

I hate it when I get a really cool new tattoo and then I find out that Rihanna just got exactly the same one.

It seems that being so annoying is a talent.

I remember when people used to go to the beach to swim and have fun and not to take pictures of their own feet and post them on instagram.

There you are, feeling pretty good about yourself. Then you hear a recording of yourself talk.

When I was young, my dad convinced me that the icecream truck only played music when it was out of icecream.

Well played, Dad, well played.

The annoying moment when your friend is a friend with the person you hate.

It's a good thing I'm awake for no reason.

Those butterflies in your stomach just shit all over the place.

There should be a breathalyzer for bad breath. Arrest those stinkers, they shouldn't be out in public anyway.

People that spell thanks "thanx" are morally horrible.

"Just kidding!" is one of the biggest lies there is.