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Bullshit Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #bullshit


Intimidate a tree by waving a stack of papers at it.


#bullshit  


What is this sleeping you all speak of.


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He died doing what he loved: getting hit in the head with a hammer for using this joke format.


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I’m going to wait to buy a PS4, maybe in a few years when itgets rereleased as a cell phone.


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Weird to think that triangles didn't exist before the Illuminati.


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I wish I had a time machine so I could go back in time to eat dinner again.


#bullshit  


The solar eclipse only lasted two minutes and I didn't hear any women complaining about that.


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I usually answer my phone with "First!" and then gently hang up.


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Dear baby Jesus, please give me the strength to not eat two dinners tonight. Amen


#bullshit  


I can be pretty dumb sometimes but still pretty so whatever.


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If pizza rolls were bigger, we could use them as a pillow.


#bullshit  


Do people who own guns walk around the house with them and pretend they're Black & Decker power drills?


#bullshit  


Weird. My tears go up my face when I cry in Australia.


#bullshit  


I have a hard time falling asleep because I have a hard time putting my phone down.


#bullshit  


I think I've finally taken enough selfies to prove to everyone that I do in fact live in my bathroom.


#bullshit  


If they just made the inhalers look like cigarettes having asthma would be so much cooler.


#bullshit  


I’m pretty adventurous in bed.

Sometimes I sleep with three, maybe four pillows.


#bullshit  


Somewhere two dudes just ordered OJ at Waffle House but are calling it "BROJ" and high fiving.


#bullshit  


Kiss her in the middle of her sentence, girls love that shit.


#bullshit  


I shaved my beard and now people have stopped throwing change at me when I tie my shoes.


#bullshit  



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