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Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #bullshit
The solar eclipse only lasted two minutes and I didn't hear any women complaining about that.
I’m going to wait to buy a PS4, maybe in a few years when itgets rereleased as a cell phone.
I'm never more gripped with fear than when I think it is Casual Friday at work and I'm the only one in a Speedo, top hat, and monocle
Going back to the high school today. One of two things will happen:
1. I will die
2. I will live
Sometimes use the oven instead of the microwave to heat food. Let it know that you still need it. Ovens have feelings too, you know.
Police keep buying all the drugs and there's never any left for the rest of us, it's like the donut thing all over again.
If they just made the inhalers look like cigarettes having asthma would be so much cooler.
Really worried that one day I'm going to look back on my life and realize I high fived a lot of people for some really dumb shit.
Serial killers probably start off as normal people who wind up consistently having to poop AFTER their shower.
That annoying feeling when you're dying to talk to someone, but you refuse to text them first.
