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Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #dirty
Numbers don't lie. That's why women aren't good at math.
Madonna looks absolutely phenomenal for a 3000 year old mummified cat turd.
I'm not saying you're stupid but if you played rock-paper-scissors against Edward Scissorhands you would choose paper.
I think you breathe too much.
With a face like that, you should really work harder on your personality.
The day you start being more interesting than my phone is the day I'll look up at you.
Don't hate yourself. There are plenty of people who'll do the hating for you.
People that have dream catchers above their bed only dream that someday, someone, anywhere will love them.
...but alas, no one will.
Some of you are gross.
And by some of you, I mean most of you.
The grass is always greener, unless you're color blind. Or blind blind.
I used to be like you, then I got a personality.
Shut up, mom. I’m trying to make people feel small on the Internet by saying hurtful things under the guise of “telling it like it is”.
i think maybe you bought your ego in a Walmart sale. it's big and of shitty quality.
Buy a clown fish. When your kids misbehave, you can threaten to lose Nemo all over again.
Me: Ur doing it again.
Him: Doing WHAT again?
Me: That thing.
Him: What thing?
Me: That thing u do that I HATE.
When the photo caption reads:
"I hope it's big enough."
It most certainly isn't.
Made it through another day without dying? Congratulations! Here's some bills and another long, grueling work week.
Whenever I kidnap deaf people and need to keep them quiet I just tape a pair of oven mitts to their hands.
If you have a dream about a dream about a dream and Leonardo DiCaprio is in all of them, are you gay?
She said her name was Heather,which was funny, because she looked like a Bimbo.