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Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #dirty
If I paid as much attention to real people as I did you guys, I wouldn't need you guys anymore.
My mom's going through a phase where she cries everytime she see's that I'm still living with her.
World wars happened so that granddads' stories become a bit less boring than they already are.
I don't mind bringing up children. It's the constant need to keep them clothed, fed and happy that annoys me.
Stuck On You is the best movie I've ever seen that was written and directed by stoned chimps.
To my delightful kids whom I so missed for the past days:
Thank you for awakening in a shitty mood and making me miss my quiet hotel rooms
Hearing temperatures in fahrenheit just sounds stupid and excessive. And now I get why Americans use it.
Shut up, mom. I’m trying to make people feel small on the Internet by saying hurtful things under the guise of “telling it like it is”.
My wife just dropped her keys & said "What's WRONG with me?" & I named 6 things before I realized it was a rhetorical question.
