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Pity Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #pity


It gets better but right now I'm crying in a parking garage.


#pity  


When I woke up today my ring was on a different finger then it usually is, so I guess I was playing "Engagement" in my dreams again.


#pity  


OMG! I just discovered I have a super power! I can be invisible..... Oh no no wait, I'm just being ignored.


#pity  


Thinking about calling 911 just to feel a fireman's embrace.


#pity  


Life sucks when you have a good heart. You help too much, trust too much, give too much, care too much, and love too much.


#pity  


I hate it when my girlfriend goes out to buy groceries and then doesnt come home for 2 years.


#pity  


2009: I want a boyfriend this year 2010: I want a boyfriend this year 2011: I want a boyfriend this year 2012: I give up


#pity  


This is the time of night I basically tweet to myself.
Hi self.


#pity  


It might seem petty but I still resent my parents for my 5 pm bedtime that they said was for my own good..Turns out they just didn't like me


#pity  


My dog caught me eating Nutella out of the jar with a spoon. She gave me judge-y eyes but SHE DOESN'T KNOW MY LIFE.


#pity  


My bucket list is full of disappointment and shattered dreams.


#pity  


that awkward moment when you don't have any friends in your class and the teacher says, 'find a partner'


#pity  


I'm going to tell my debts that I love them so they'll go away like all my girlfriends do.


#pity  


I wish I was a tree so squirrels would run all over me & tickle me with their little feet & be my friends & love me & great, now I'm crying.


#pity  



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