Rough Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #rough

In ancient China, people committed suicide by eating a pound of salt.

Meth is a really good way to find out what your stripper name is.

I hate when I'm nude and my daughters aren't around to be traumatized by it :(

We're the only ones on our block who decorated a hanging, gutted deer.

The weather man (drug dealer) says I can have a white Christmas (cocaine) with plenty of trees (weed) and now I'm happy (broke)

"Jesus take the wheel," she said, but of course he didn't and they crashed and died.

Now that I'm sober, the fact Grandma actually HAD a rubber when I burst into her room and asked her for one last night is pretty disturbing.

I would watch a show where they dropped the staff of TMZ into the Korean DMZ.

Not rewinding your VHS movies after watching only the nude scenes when you were a kid was the original not clearing your browser history.

When you tell Alec Baldwin to make himself at home he pours a bag of cocaine into a bottle of wine and then beats your kids with a broom

When I vomit, I pretend that someone has poisoned me because I'm really important.

Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet... it takes a Chinese newborn an extra three hours to make their goddamned shoes.

That kid ran right out in front of a car, but I couldn't think of a safe word to yell in time.

People always get so bent out of shape when you carve a pentagram into their baby.

This lady's kid. . . wow. . .looks like her dad is her cousin AND her grandpa. . . also, there MAY have been meth involved. . .

I'm thinking about getting a treasure map to nowhere tattooed on my back so even in death I can disappoint my son.

To this day, I resent the maniac who cut all those nice pictures up into jigsaw puzzles.

Yo mama's so fat she probably has trouble finding men to sleep w/ her, especially after the messy divorce.
Sorry about your family.

Kids don't listen! I've told mine a hundred times to fall off the top of the slide during recess so we can sue the school.