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Rough Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #rough


To this day, I resent the maniac who cut all those nice pictures up into jigsaw puzzles.


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I'm thinking about getting a treasure map to nowhere tattooed on my back so even in death I can disappoint my son.


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We're the only ones on our block who decorated a hanging, gutted deer.


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This lady's kid. . . wow. . .looks like her dad is her cousin AND her grandpa. . . also, there MAY have been meth involved. . .


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People always get so bent out of shape when you carve a pentagram into their baby.


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The weather man (drug dealer) says I can have a white Christmas (cocaine) with plenty of trees (weed) and now I'm happy (broke)


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When I vomit, I pretend that someone has poisoned me because I'm really important.


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In ancient China, people committed suicide by eating a pound of salt.


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"Jesus take the wheel," she said, but of course he didn't and they crashed and died.


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When you tell Alec Baldwin to make himself at home he pours a bag of cocaine into a bottle of wine and then beats your kids with a broom


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Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet... it takes a Chinese newborn an extra three hours to make their goddamned shoes.


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Now that I'm sober, the fact Grandma actually HAD a rubber when I burst into her room and asked her for one last night is pretty disturbing.


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Meth is a really good way to find out what your stripper name is.


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Kids don't listen! I've told mine a hundred times to fall off the top of the slide during recess so we can sue the school.


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That kid ran right out in front of a car, but I couldn't think of a safe word to yell in time.


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Yo mama's so fat she probably has trouble finding men to sleep w/ her, especially after the messy divorce.
Sorry about your family.


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I would watch a show where they dropped the staff of TMZ into the Korean DMZ.


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I hate when I'm nude and my daughters aren't around to be traumatized by it :(


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Not rewinding your VHS movies after watching only the nude scenes when you were a kid was the original not clearing your browser history.


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Roll the dice for #rough
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