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Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #rough
To this day, I resent the maniac who cut all those nice pictures up into jigsaw puzzles.
I'm thinking about getting a treasure map to nowhere tattooed on my back so even in death I can disappoint my son.
We're the only ones on our block who decorated a hanging, gutted deer.
This lady's kid. . . wow. . .looks like her dad is her cousin AND her grandpa. . . also, there MAY have been meth involved. . .
People always get so bent out of shape when you carve a pentagram into their baby.
The weather man (drug dealer) says I can have a white Christmas (cocaine) with plenty of trees (weed) and now I'm happy (broke)
When I vomit, I pretend that someone has poisoned me because I'm really important.
In ancient China, people committed suicide by eating a pound of salt.
"Jesus take the wheel," she said, but of course he didn't and they crashed and died.
When you tell Alec Baldwin to make himself at home he pours a bag of cocaine into a bottle of wine and then beats your kids with a broom
Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet... it takes a Chinese newborn an extra three hours to make their goddamned shoes.
Now that I'm sober, the fact Grandma actually HAD a rubber when I burst into her room and asked her for one last night is pretty disturbing.
Meth is a really good way to find out what your stripper name is.
Kids don't listen! I've told mine a hundred times to fall off the top of the slide during recess so we can sue the school.
That kid ran right out in front of a car, but I couldn't think of a safe word to yell in time.
Yo mama's so fat she probably has trouble finding men to sleep w/ her, especially after the messy divorce.
Sorry about your family.
I would watch a show where they dropped the staff of TMZ into the Korean DMZ.
I hate when I'm nude and my daughters aren't around to be traumatized by it :(
Not rewinding your VHS movies after watching only the nude scenes when you were a kid was the original not clearing your browser history.