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Sex Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #sex


If I pass out while inside you, you did a GREAT job!


#sex  


Is 69 the true meaning of Xmas? You know, giving to receive


#sex  


The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.


#sex  


I feel like this guy at the bar wearing the denim vest is just throwing his 36 years of virginity and carefree lifestyle in my face.


#sex  


Shut your mouth and spread your legs


#sex  


Sent my wife an e-vite to "Party in my pants" for tonight. She responded with a "maybe".

I'll take it.


#sex  


Always take your first dates out to eat ribs, if they can’t get their fingers dirty they’ll never put them where you want them.


#sex  


I've been here so long that I now think that every compliment from a man means, "I want to put my boner in you."


#sex  


The cable guy is coming to install my box today and I can't find my thigh highs anywhere.


#sex  


Met my new neighbor and she thinks my boyfriend is my Dad.
Ha, that's funny and disturbing and I already had intimacy issues and shoot me.


#sex  


It's fun to put your dong in a nice person.


#sex  


Guys, be nice to your ladies.

They let you stick things in them for Pete's sake.


#sex  


If I were a pair of panties, I'd be the ones you threw out the car window on the way home from a one night stand.


#sex  


After a stripper collects her tips from all the tables she goes in the back and licks the money clean.


#sex  


Follow me. First stop, the bedroom.


#sex  


I think I'm getting sick. What's that stuff you rub on your chest to relieve congestion? Boobs? Yes, boobs. Someone rub their boobs on me.


#sex  


Home is where your porn is.


#sex  


My wife and I view sex differently. For starters, I view it on the Internet.


#sex  


Come all ye faithful. Does that mean if you aren't faithful, you can't come?


#sex  


We were the sperm who got to the egg first. It was our first victorious moment and I'm proud to be here with everyone else who made it too!


#sex  



Roll the dice for #sex
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