Useless Bashes

I can't smell or taste anything. Do you guys know how disgusting yogurt is with no scent and no taste?

More than 60% of bankruptcies in the US are caused by medical bills.

Just watched another movie in 3D. It's so cool. Imagine how awesome it would be if you could see in 3D all the time.

Sometime after the end of the Second Wizarding War, Ron and Hermione married and had two children, Rose and Hugo Weasley.

Camel's milk does not curdle.

The Dalmatian is the only dog that gets gout.

“Internet famous” is a good euphemism for not being famous

The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.

If you stay up late enough, you get a sandwich. That's just how it works.

The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.

I share unnecessary and inappropriate information on twitter because I care.

Someone asked me if I wanted to be American; I'm delaying on my answer. Sure, I want to improve on my narcissism but I don't want to be fat.

In den Anden wird die Zeit oft daran gemessen, wie lange es dauert eine Zigarette zu rauchen.

Chocolate milk is actually more beneficial for athletes than sports-drinks are.

Am wirtschaftlichen fährt ein Auto bei etwa 50 km pro Stunde.

Skilled liars also have the ability to detect whether other people are lying as well.

Sure is a good thing chickens don't get breast cancer.

They should make a film about how The Radio Star was killed, then release it straight to video.

(this would've been funny 20 years ago)

I am not going to do anything reproductive today.

Shaving, because nobody likes to find hair in their meal.