Useless Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #useless

A man claims he is selling evidence that Nicolas Cage is a vampire for $1 million dollars.

Barbie has lost a lot of her luster since her breast reduction surgery.

If you stay up late enough, you get a sandwich. That's just how it works.

Shaving, because nobody likes to find hair in their meal.

America, where they've totally ruined the baseball cap for the rest of us.

“Internet famous” is a good euphemism for not being famous

I'm too lazy to block anybody. Simply ignoring you takes no effort at all.

In Article 1, Section 10 of the US Constitution, the word "its" is misspelled as "it's".

Das Wort "Komet" kommt von dem griechischen Wort "kometes", das übersetzt "Langes Haar" heißt und auf den Kometenschweif anspricht.

Ein Kugelschreiber reicht aus für etwa 50000 Worte.

Every religion I’ve ever studied has, at its center, the idea that we should love each other. Every church I’ve ever seen corrupts this.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

I'm pretty sure there's a back room at my gym where they manufacture fist-bumps.

Cigarettes are legal and kill millions of people every year. Marijuana is illegal and has never caused death from usage.

"It's not you, it's me" really means, "Oh, it's definitely you."

One of the 15th century's most popular books was 'Tale of Two Lovers', an erotic novel written by the man who became Pope Pius II.

Auf internationalen Länderplaketten wird Spanien mit einem “E” abgekürzt – für Espana.

FACT: 75% of Filipinos pronounce “touch screen” as “touch creen”.

"Psychologists say a crush only lasts for 4 months - when feelings last longer, you are considered to be "in love." #UberFacts

When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate. They do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.