Useless Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #useless

obsessive neurotics press the elevator button several times, just to verify that the system works

The German "lebensabschnittsgefährte" refers to a lover with whom you see no future if you like fun words or never getting out of bed again.

A group of frogs is called an army.

The people who complain on social media are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and stress.

I'm waiting for my knight to ride up on his white horse & serenade me under my window, so all will be right in the IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

"It's not you, it's me" really means, "Oh, it's definitely you."

63% of restaurant workers say they have handled or served food while sick.

If you stay up late enough, you get a sandwich. That's just how it works.

In China, a man hired virtual 'assassins' to kill his son's World of Warcraft character to stop him playing.

She adored her new pet. Docile, clean, attentive and not scared of wet places. She thought that after all, it wasn't so cumbersome, a man.

I'm too lazy to block anybody. Simply ignoring you takes no effort at all.

Men have nipples because every fetus is female until the Y chromosome kicks in.

Shaving, because nobody likes to find hair in their meal.

A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.

I bought my wife a bunch of phallic foods to hint at what I want for Valentines Day.

She made oysters for dinner.

If you pour a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

If you're naughty enough it's worth getting nothing.

I am not going to do anything reproductive today.

we are ALL staring at computer screens, we have SO much in common.

"Psychologists say a crush only lasts for 4 months - when feelings last longer, you are considered to be "in love." #UberFacts