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Wtf Bashes

Read the best funny quotes and bashes with tag #wtf


Any kind of berry cream cheese goes great with nipples.


#wtf  


Was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I forgot to take out my retainer at the bar b/c I've been on a 3 day drinking binge.


#wtf  


Sorry Facebook, you keep saying you’ve changed, but it’s too late. I’m already in love with someone else & their name is twitter. <33


#wtf  


I've woken up looking like the imaginary friend of a particularly disturbed child.


#wtf  


Look, if you're going to name your kid TJ, don't act all surprised when he shows up to school with a gun & a hunting knife.


#wtf  


Dating tip: Impress her with your bravery by telling her she looks fat today.


#wtf  


Going to hide in this stall until the other woman leaves. Not in the mood for 'sink talk.'


#wtf  


Just had to wipe with the toilet paper tube but how's your day going?


#wtf  


I really like this boy I've never actually met and he's twice my age and lives on the other side of the world. I think we've got a chance.


#wtf  


If I’m going down, you’re going down with me! - 69


#wtf  


I’m not the only that finds sitting in a chair exhausting, right?


#wtf  


Too many belly buttons in porn. It's just not for me.


#wtf  


Ah jees, the one time I really need to blow my nose and I've already finished the tissues to clean up my unborns.


#wtf  


The best way to get rid of your baby fat is to stop eating fat babies.


#wtf  


Everything's a telephone if you're crazy, hold on while I answer this lamp.


#wtf  


One advantage of being addicted to heroin is that you don’t have to take your Christmas tree down till August.


#wtf  


This is my best friend Billy. He's a robot. http://t.co/j2dr8pQQ


#wtf  


It's so cute how you're trying to play hard to get in the trunk of my car.


#wtf  


This urban camouflage outfit is not preventing people from seeing me and saying things like "stop blocking the sidewalk" and "what the hell"


#wtf  


I like gay people but I feel like I don’t have anything in common with them. I don’t want to get married or be in the military.


#wtf  



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