Existence Confessions

I have a deep desire to be obliterated from existence by God. I do not wish to live life nor experience the state of transition known as death, all I wish is to be completely wiped from what we know as reality or universe, I want to cease my atoms so they immediately evaporate and are never more. I pray to God that he will grant me this wish and that I will never be able to return. I wish that my mother would also be happy, since she's very sad, and I have no wishes for my father. I hope I can be completely destroyed by God by the time I go to sleep tonight, or any other nights, whichever is more convenient, but I'm aware that I won't die because it is simply how it was meant to be. I hope the opportunity arises so I can finally kill myself, but I'm sure I will come back eventually, which is terrible. I hope God grants me this wish if he is sentient.
How disgusting of such a putrid creature to think God wouldn't be.
A thing so big that I can't comprehend, how foolish I am for mistaking its intentions for my own greedy.
But I bow down to no God, I have no desire, only this wish. I want to disappear forever and ever, and I will do anything to achieve this.

However for now, I will enjoy life.
:)

#existence