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My parents put everything in a trust fund for me. I won't get it until I'm 18, so I'll use it for college. ↗

— Heather O'Rourke

#everything #fund #get #i #me

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#carefully #child #children #concept #death

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#according #administration #bad #bad news #everything

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#car #car keys #giving #keys #like

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#adult #deal #drink #fat #great

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#assassinate #brief #character #death #election

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#comes #consequences #damn #duty #human

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#about #any #bright #catastrophe #feeling

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#bought #buying #controlled #first #first things

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#absolutely #absolutely nothing #behave #extraordinary #four