#am

Why did he have to be so gorgeous? Why did he have to stand so close, and why did I still love him so much? ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#love #vampire #humor

They don't fit you?" V asked his roommate. "Not the point. No offense, but these are wicked Village People." Butch held his heavy arms out and turned in a circle, his bare chest catching the light. "I mean, come on." "They're for fighting, not fashion." "So are kilts, but you don't see me rocking the tartan." "And thank God for that. You're too bowlegged to pull that shit off." Butch assumed a bored expression. "You can bite me. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#butch-vishous #humor #paranormal-romance #romance #vishous-vampire

Spike (to Giles) : Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes — 'Cuppa tea, cuppa tea... almost got shagged... cuppa tea'? ↗

— Marti Noxon

#humor #snark #humor

Tell you what, you let me go, and I’ll ask you plenty of questions about your race. Until then, I’m slightly distracted with how this little vacation on the good ship Holy Sh*t is going to pan out for me.” -Jane to V ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #jane #paranormal #romance #vampire

I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years. ↗

— Tina Fey

#grammar-humor #humor #stress #humor

I can't go on, I'll go on. ↗

— Samuel Beckett

#drama #existentialism #fiction #humor #nihilism

Maybe he thinks he can rescue me? No one is that stupid. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor #rachel-morgan #romance #vampire #humor

...cursing my heels and debating whether it was faster to stop and take them off--damn ankle straps!--or keep running with the potential neck breakers. Wouldn’t that make a charming epitaph? Here lies Cat. Killed not by fang, but Ferragamos. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humor #vampire #humor

It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening. If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor #language #humor

Niall had been able to mask the odor of fairy from Eric in the restaurant, but I saw from the flare of Eric's nostrils that the intoxicating scent clung to me. Eric's eyes closed in ecstasy, and he actually licked his lips. I felt like a T-bone just out of reach of a hungry dog. "Snap out of it," I said. I wasn't in the mood. With a huge effort, Eric reigned himself in. "When you smell like that," he said, "I just wanna fuck you and bite you and rub myself all over you. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#fairies #humor #intoxication #sookie-stackhouse #vampires