#am

Welcome to the fascinating world of the undead! Please use this guidebook as a handy reference as you make your first steps toward eternity. Inside you will find information on vampire nutrition, relationships, and safety. But before learning about your future, a word about our past… —From The Guide for the Newly Undead ↗

— Molly Harper

#vampire #humor

Mr. Rochester never courted Jane Eyre," Tessa pointed out. "No, he dressed up as a woman and terrified the poor girl out of her wits. Is that what you want?" "You would make a very ugly woman." "I would not. I would be stunning. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jane-eyre #tessa-gray #william-herondale #humor

What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb. American novels, answered Lord Henry. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#bad-reviews #books #humor #literary-criticism #novels

I do believe in shooting the messenger. You know why? Because it sends a message. ↗

— Damon Salvador

#vampire-diaries #humor

She raised a sharp eyebrow at him. "Vlad, no offense, but look at you. If you're not a vampire, you're clearly the most anemic goth I've ever seen."... "We believed you. Because that's what friends do." pg267 October to Vlad ↗

— Heather Brewer

#friends #goth #humor #october #vampire

I had lied so much lately that I was honestly surprised my pants weren't literally made of fire. ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#vampire #humor

Why go for something cold and dead, when you can have something hot and panting? ↗

— K.R. Smith

#vampires #werewolves #humor

Is this bitch crazy? I don't want to 'accidentally' drown ↗

— J.L. McCoy

#vampire #humor

Siapakah yang dapat menjelaskan dengan memuaskan apa yang menyebabkan kita tersenyum atau tertawa? Gerak bibir yang menyunggingkan senyum atau gerak otot yang menggerakkan bibir, bahkan juga mulut dan rahang kita yang membentuk tawa: apakah itu semua suatu fenomena fisik atau lebih daripada itu? ---"Kita dan Humor", Kompas, Mei 1996 ↗

— Umar Kayam

#humor

I mean, electric shock? Isn’t that a bit... electric shock-y? ↗

— Emmett Spain

#humor #london-city #urban-fantasy #vampire #humor