#humor

I think I've learned that if you want to be successful, you have to tell your story honestly and from your heart - and I think a healthy sense of humor doesn't hurt either. ↗

— Dorothea Benton Frank

#healthy #heart #honestly #humor #hurt

Why keep in touch with them? That's what I want to know,' asked Larry despairingly. 'What satisfaction does it give you? They're all either fossilized or mental.' 'Indeed, they're not mental,' said Mother indignantly. 'Nonsense, Mother... Look at Aunt Bertha, keeping flocks of imaginary cats... and there's Great-Uncle Patrick, who wanders about nude and tells complete strangers how he killed whales with a penknife...They're all bats. ↗

— Gerald Durrell

#humor #family

Most people get excited over new cars; I get excited over death certificates. It's no wonder my husband worries about my state of mind. ↗

— Rett MacPherson

#humor #death

Sam: You know what I wish? Cassel: What? Sam: That someone would covert my bed into a robot that would fight other bed robots to the death for me. ↗

— Holly Black

#death

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. ↗

— Teri Garr

#diagnosis #get #good #good attitude #humor

That's how I want to go. Taking my own way out and totally pissing everybody off at the end. ↗

— L.J. Smith

#humor #death

I only have two speeds. Hostile and Smart-Aleck. Your choice ↗

— James Patterson

#humor

It is clear that men accept an immediate pain rather than an immediate pleasure, but only because they expect a greater pleasure in the future. Often the pleasure is illusory, but their error in calculation is no refutation of the rule. You are puzzled because you cannot get over the idea that pleasures are only of the sense; but, child, a man who dies for his country dies because he likes it as surely as a man eats pickled cabbage because he likes it. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#humor #life #pleasure #death

We can't understand when we're pregnant, or when our siblings are expecting, how profound it is to have a shared history with a younger generation: blood, genes, humor. It means we were actually here, on Earth, for a time - like the Egyptians with their pyramids, only with children. ↗

— Anne Lamott

#blood #children #earth #egyptians #expecting

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. ↗

— Doug Larson

#form #lowest #lowest form #pun #thought