#humor

Many in America, as one social historian wrote, 'believed implicitly that New York's social leaders went to bed in full evening dress, brushed their teeth in vintage champagne, married their daughters without exception to shady French counts, and arrayed their poodle dogs in diamond tiaras.'... ↗

— Greg King

#humor #age

Philosophizing: a term defined by logicians to denigrate lyric thinkers. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #logic #philosophy #funny

...I've spent the last fifteen years of my life railing against the game of soccer, an exercise that has been lauded as "the sport of the future" since 1977. Thankfully, that future dystopia has never come. ↗

— Chuck Klosterman

#future #humor #soccer #sports #humor

„Mademoiselle Colbert, willkommen im Maison Athène“, sagte die blonde Frau mit einer rauchig tiefen Stimme, die sie - ohne Anlauf - zum Star in jeder Telefonsexagentur gemacht hätte. ↗

— Emilia Polo

#humor #lustig #funny

I am prejudiced: I will never buy food for any minority, no matter how poor, if there is an adorable child with a sweet tooth nearby. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #racism #food

All I really, really want to do is find a very, very fine chocolate store that I can walk into and then figure out how in the world one manages to pick out just a few chocolates out of all those very many chocolates! If I am one day able to walk into a fine chocolate store and know for certain which chocolates I want, when that happens, I will believe myself to be accomplished! ↗

— C. JoyBell C.

#chocolates #humor #humour #life #life-and-living

Smartass Disciple: If there were two masters, which one should I listen to? Master of Stupidity: Use the ears to the one who looks so stupid, eyes to else. ↗

— Toba Beta

#life #master #truth #which-one #humor

If hitting an unexpected speed bump with your car equates to the best sex you've had lately, you know your hormones are sending you a signal. ↗

— Ellen Phillips

#sex #humor

Pelit itu payah! Hemat itu jenius! ↗

— Yoshichi Shimada

#humor #life-lessons #pelit #pennywise #stingy

Don't profane yourself, or the Biodag Dubh." Oh, Mary Ann. Me and the Beedak Doo are just fine. ↗

— Kendare Blake

#humor #humor