#humor

I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor. ↗

— Alton Brown

#humor #i #i love #love #mean

Humor comes from self-confidence. ↗

— Rita Mae Brown

#humor #self-confidence

A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing. ↗

— Samuel Butler

#committing #enough #him #his #humor

Un homme de cinquante ans ne tient pas longtemps rancune à une femme de vingt-trois. ↗

— Alexandre Dumas

#male-female-relationships #relationship

The lot of the bride to be wed before bed desired until rotten. The lot of the author to be read before bed admired then forgotten. ↗

— Roman Payne

#authors #brides #desire #funny #humor

Take notes my love,” Trik pointed at Syndra’s retreating form. “That is why she is Queen." Cassie nodded. “Got it. Note to self: Successful Queen equals bitch.” “I heard that,” Syndra yelled. Cassie gave Trik a high five. “You’re well on your way, beautiful,” he told her with a wink. ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#beauty

Ritual he liked, but compulsory routine he hated. Thus, he resented every minute that he now had to surrender to showering, shampooing, shaving, and flossing and brushing his teeth. If mere men could devise self-defrosting refrigerators and self-cleaning ovens, why couldn't nature, in all its complex, inventive magnificence, have managed to come up with self-cleaning teeth? "There's birth," he grumbled, "there's death, and in between there's maintenance. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#life #tom-robbins #death

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. ↗

— Robert Benchley

#analyze #go #lengths #people #seems

There's a hysterical, tired sense of humor that comes after working 14 hours a day, six days a week. I like those things because they take the pressure off the constant stress. ↗

— Tom Berenger

#because #comes #constant #day #days

Ant Prune was holding one of the squirrels in her hand. ‘And once a day, we have ta clean their little private parts with a Q-tip, so they'll learn ta clean themselves.' That was a visual I didn't need ↗

— Margaret Stohl

#humor #squirrels #beauty