#humor

She'd met Colin on a Monday. She'd kissed him on a Friday. Twelve years later. She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #sarcasm #funny

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #idealism #funny

And she didn't once say anything about this being a sin. It used to be I got the word sin slapped in my face every time I did something wrong, but come on, when you live in a sin-free family with sin-free parents and a sin-free sister, well, you can't help but sin a little extra on their behalf. ↗

— Han Nolan

#humor #sins #family

[Jo to her mother] I knew there was mischief brewing. I felt it and now it's worse than I imagined. I just wish I could marry Meg myself, and keep her safe in the family. ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#humor #jo #marriage #siblings #family

My instincts told me that death would somehow be…different. But my rational mind reminded me that I had probably tempted fate one too many times. At least, I thought it was my rational mind. It sure seemed like the usual voice inside my head. Thank God there was only one of them. ↗

— M.A. George

#paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #voices-inside-your-head #death

It's the twenty-first century. Arriving to find a bunch of old dudes in brown robes would be equally weird. ↗

— Kendare Blake

#robes #twenty-first-century #equality

over protective? a butler in a grade- B movie? someones jewish mother? you got it ↗

— Margaret Weis

#humor #zifnab #death

I couldn't have been more shocked if he pulled a pink elephant out of his ass! ↗

— Tamara Rose Blodgett

#elephant #humor #shock #death

Promise me, Amelie, that you’ll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love.” “I hardly think there’s any chance of that,” Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

The list of women he’s slept with is longer than his penis. The list is three inches long.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #naughty #penis #sex #slut