#humor

Some hams hanging in the kitchen were taken out for burial ↗

— George Orwell

#humor

Have you tried talking to her? No, Jace said, we've been punching her repeatedly in the face instead. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace #funny

I really wouldn't want to live in America. I found New York claustrophobic and dirty. I missed England when I was there, simple things like smells and the British sense of humor. ↗

— Jonny Lee Miller

#british #claustrophobic #dirty #england #found

Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity? Two weeks from anywhere!" -Ulysses Everett McGill, Oh Brother Where Art Thou ↗

— oh brother where art thou

#oh-brother-where-art-thou #art

Whenever characters become self-important or sentimental in the Muppets, then there's always another character to blow them up immediately. ↗

— Frank Oz

#humor

William slapped him on the shoulder, sending Sex into rapturous convulsions. “Before we do this, I’ve got one question for you. And you can’t lie. This is too important.” A bit sick to his stomach at what such a debaucher could want to know, Paris cast his attention to the black-haired, blue-eyed he-devil. “Ask.” “Are you going to suggest I kiss you for good luck or strength or whatever it is your sex demon needs?” That earned the warrior a two-fingered salute. “So that’s a no?” William asked. Paris worked his jaw. “Here, let me help you off the cliff to the drawbridge.” With no more warning, he shoved William over the ledge. He thought he heard a fading, “ So not cool,” from the bastard as he fell…fell… Splat. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor #humor

We're making a list." "And checking it twice." Edward shook his head. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor

My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm. ↗

— Mike Tyson

#humor

I don't know what it is about the french language, it seems to be scared of coming out of the mouth so it comes out the nose instead. ↗

— P.D.Q. Bach

#humor #humor

A brick is something solid, stable, and yet edgy. In other words, it’s everything a politician isn’t.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny