#humor

I like to schedule dentist appointments for March 32, otherwise known as April Fool’s Day. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dentist #funny #humor #funny

I just think we’re living in a time of massive, amazing change, like the Industrial Revolution on acid. ↗

— Kelly Lynch

#change

Life isn't about drinking cool aide. Sometimes you have to take the castor oil too. ↗

— Jennifer Donohoe

#life

Good humor isn't a trait of character, it is an art which requires practice. ↗

— David Seabury

#character #good #humor #practice #requires

Men are linear creatures, led by their lusts. You only have to give them an excuse to act on what they already want to do. ↗

— Nancy Gideon

#men

There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble. ↗

— Sinclair Lewis

#endure #human #human being #humor #insults

When you don't hold your pipe with the proper poise, smoking is very hazardous for your image. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #self-image #smoking #funny

I despise the rituals of fake friendship. I wish we could just claw each other's eyes out and call it a day; instead we put on huge radiant smiles and spout compliments until our teeth hurt from the saccharine sweetness of it all. ↗

— Jody Gehrman

#fake #friends #friendship #humor #pretense

You know you’re in love when you reach out to hold your woman’s hand, without remembering that her hands are full because you insisted she carry all the groceries out to the car. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die." "Yes," said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried. "What? Where?" cried Arthur, twisting round. "No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #science #humor