#humor

Skulduggery stood among the ruins of what had once been a sofa. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. 'I was trying to make up the sofa bed so you could get some rest,' he explained, and pointed to the second sofa across the room. 'Unfortunately, it would appear that that is the sofa bed, and this, apparently, is just a sofa. ↗

— Derek Landy

#furniture #humor #humorous #mistakes #death

When nobody practices what they strongly believe in, that day will be a triumph of prudence. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #prudence #funny

If the world were coming to an end tomorrow, I’d probably call in sick to work. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#end-of-the-world #funny #humor #work #funny

I think in my case, I had no choice but to have a good sense of humor. I grew up with my dad, Danny Thomas, and George Burns and Bob Hope and Milton Berle and Sid Caesar and all those guys were at our house all the time and telling jokes and making each other laugh. ↗

— Marlo Thomas

#bob #bob hope #burns #caesar #case

I got hired by a newspaper to write a column on current events, so I wrote about Benjamin Franklin’s charting of the Gulf Stream. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #newspapers #funny

Me and Matt love to argue, but in general our sense of humor is pretty much alike. ↗

— Trey Parker

#argue #general #humor #love #matt

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-as-hell #funny-but-sad #funny-but-true #funny-humor #hilarious

I mean, yeah, I'm sure that Python and the other things have paved the way for a greater understanding of the British sense of humor, but I don't think it's all that different than the American sense of humor. ↗

— Simon Pegg

#british #different #greater #greater understanding #humor

I think at its best the American sense of humor is the same as the British sense of humor at its best, which is to be wry and ironic and self deprecating. ↗

— Simon Pegg

#best #british #humor #i #i think

You can find heroism everyday, like guys working terrible jobs because they've got to support their families. Or as far as humor, the things I see on the job, on the street, are far funnier than anything you'll ever see on TV. ↗

— Harvey Pekar

#as far as #because #ever #everyday #families