#humor

...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #age

Fool! Nothing but black ink runs through my veins! ↗

— Hiromu Arakawa

#fma #fullmetal-alchemist #humor #manga #humor

I've seen a lot of movies where a kid my age finds out he's got magical powers and then gets invited to go away to some special school. Well, if I've got an invitation coming, now would be the perfect time to get it ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#humor #age

People ask me what I am politically and I've previously offered this equation: I became a conservative by being around liberals. And I became a libertarian after being around conservatives. ↗

— Greg Gutfeld

#liberty #politics #age

There is a sort of mental treason That smothers dreams outside of reason ↗

— Mike Corbett

#demons #heaven #hell #intelligent-humor #irreverent-humor

I hear your insults and plan to silence them with my victory. ↗

— Claudia Gray

#humor #humor

When I came out of anesthesia, I wanted two things: my husband and my dog. They wouldn't let the dog in the recovery room. ↗

— Sandy Nathan

#health #humor #inspirational #new-age #age

Who embalms the Undertaker when he dies? ↗

— Alison Bechdel

#humor #death

Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.) ↗

— Douglas Adams

#slang #humor

Pain produces progress. So if you truly love me, you will try to hurt me as much as you can. If you really want me to grow as a person, you will water me with betrayal, abuse, neglect, derision, thievery, and possibly even torture. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #pain #torture #age