#funny

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#comedian #find #funny #happen #i

I play a female Indiana Jones, a professor who hunts down precious objects, like a bowl that belonged to the Buddha. They tailored the role to me: I wanted to be smart, funny, and to kick some ass. ↗

— Tia Carrere

#belonged #bowl #buddha #down #female

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. ↗

— Jim Carrey

#behind #every #eyes #great #great man

I’ve seen daggers pierce the chest, Children dying in the road, Crawling things hooked and baited, Rapists bound and then castrated, Villains singed in public square. Yet none these sights did make me cringe Like when my Love cut all her hair. ↗

— Roman Payne

#fashion #funny-quotes #girls #hair #hair-drama

I really wanted to find a piano for the farm house. There were so many free pianos on Craigslist, I thought, 'Let's get as many free pianos as we can and stick them all in the barn.' I got eight in a short period of time, only six of which were tunable, but it's still quite funny. ↗

— Neko Case

#eight #farm #find #free #funny

I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#hit #hope #i #just #keep

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#assures #bit #father #funny #i

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up. ↗

— Dan Castellaneta

#funny #i #job #lines #some

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. ↗

— W. C. Fields

#add #cook #even #food #i

It's funny, I had dinner with my dear friend John Spencer last night and I'm not in the first episode, but he's at the beginning of it and he was telling me about it and I thought this sounds very hot because I think this is definitely the last year of West Wing. ↗

— Stockard Channing

#because #beginning #dear #dear friend #definitely