#funny

All my children inherited perfect pitch. ↗

— Chevy Chase

#children #inherited #perfect #pitch

By educating me at home, my parents were able to give me individualized attention without the usual distractions that kids in regular school experience, like dating and friendship. Not to mention that traditional school can be dangerous. I’ve heard about kids catching the flu and chicken pox, even Judaism. And how about those poor kids lugging all those heavy books to and from school every day? My books never went anywhere, just like me. I felt so bad when I’d see kids on my street giggling and chasing each other around with those awkward backpacks. ↗

— Colin Nissan

#homeschooling #humor #satire #dating

The anger that Uncle Junior has comes from my background. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant, and I've seen the fire of the Italian temperament. It can be explosive sometimes in ways that are both funny and tragic. ↗

— Dominic Chianese

#background #both #comes #explosive #father

My parents are very funny when they have to deal with anything racy or off-color. They usually pretend they don't speak English. ↗

— Margaret Cho

#deal #english #funny #parents #pretend

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#ability #able #achievement #brilliant #marry

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. ↗

— Arthur C. Clarke

#adjust #bathroom #best #his #honesty

I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way. ↗

— Mo Rocca

#cheney #clever #cool #dick cheney #either

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. ↗

— William Arthur Ward

#cools #funny #funny thing #heart #sting

But movies as much as anything developed what I thought was right and wrong, what was honorable, what wasn't, what was funny what wasn't... what had some depth to it, what didn't. ↗

— Dabney Coleman

#depth #developed #funny #had #honorable

Lying on the ceiling. Refusing to go to school. Not opening up to me. Climbing water towers. "No, she's all right. ↗

— Kami Garcia

#beauty