#funny

My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement. ↗

— Carol Leifer

#comedian #comedy #father #figure #funny

Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife. ↗

— Mark Watson

#food

Sometimes I think what I write is funny in its quiet way. ↗

— Doris Lessing

#i #i think #i write #quiet #sometimes

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#am #blue #i #red #roses

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty. ↗

— Imelda Marcos

#did #had #i #pairs #shoes

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. ↗

— Jerry Lewis

#able #also #arms #dream #every

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. ↗

— Joe E. Lewis

#anyone #camels #distrust #drink #else

I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one. ↗

— Wendy Liebman

#contributed #funny #harvard #house #i

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business. ↗

— Wanda Sykes

#family #funny #i #none #remotely

You want everyone to be great and funny. I'm not saying I'm great, but I'm funny. ↗

— Jon Lovitz

#funny #great #i #saying #want