#funny

. . . you worked for Harry King, they said, because a broken leg was bad for business, and Harry King was all about business. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny #mob #business

No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands... that can do your brain. ↗

— Ivan Stoikov

#books #fantasy #fiction #humour #kids-funny-business

I got an 'A' in Business Marketing in college!- as if that means a goddamn thing in the real world... ↗

— Whitney Gracia Williams

#sarcasm #business

Hey, I am thinking of it myself, in this part of world (East), we all do endeavors in praying and are sweating (white liquid) and this is our situation, frustrated , but on the other part of world (West) ,they are enjoying in party and drinking liquor (white liquid) but their situation is that, successful, I do not know that the problem relates to the type of liquid or the way of drinking!! ↗

— Ali Shariati

#faith #funny #humor #life #love

I had a religious experience at a crosswalk. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #religion #experience

As I climbed up into the high old bed, the large fly in my personal ointment did the same. Had I actually told him he could get in bed with me? Well, I decided, as I wriggled down under the soft old sheets and the blanket and the comforter, if Eric had designs on me, I was just too tired to care. "Woman?" "Hmmm?" "What's your name?" "Sookie. Sookie Stackhouse." "Thank you, Sookie." "Welcome, Eric. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#funny #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #design

Moreover, grandmothers of students who aren't doing so well in class are at even higher risk - students who are failing are fifty times more likely to lose a grandmother compared with non-failing students. In a paper exploring this sad connection, Adam speculates that the phenomenon is due to intrafamilial dynamics, which is to say, students' grandmothers care so much about their grandchildren that they worry themselves to death over the outcome of exams. ↗

— Dan Ariely

#dishonesty #funny #lying #death

It was all very strange, Mr. Gray thought, as he wiped the coffee canister clean with a sponge. Very, very mysterious. You were born; you lived a whole life; and at the end, you wound up in a coffee canister. "Ah, well," he said out loud quietly. "That's just the way things are. Life's a funny business." Death, he supposed, was the punch line. ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#funny-business #life #business

Percy: I’ll walk down to the cabins and Connor and Travis are stealing stuff from the camp store, and Silena is arguing with Annabeth trying to give her a new makeover, and Clarisse is still sticking the new kids’ head into the toilets. It’s nice that some things never change. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#everyone #funny #normal #change

If you want to change the world, just change yourself. The world needs traitors. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #treason #change