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Brian P. Cleary

Read through the most famous quotes from Brian P. Cleary

A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

— Brian P. Cleary

#humor #humor

It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).

— Brian P. Cleary

#humor #observational-comedy #observations #humor

Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.

— Brian P. Cleary

#observational-comedy #observations #storytelling #humor

Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.

— Brian P. Cleary

#observation #humor

Not only is love blind, it’s a little hard of hearing.

— Brian P. Cleary

#love #marriage #observational-comedy #humor

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.

— Brian P. Cleary

#kids #observational-comedy #humor

If you treat what you value most in life more like a garden and less like a vending machine, you’ll probably be happier. (from You Oughta Know By Now)

— Brian P. Cleary

#inspriration #inspirational

There’s no such thing as free kittens.

— Brian P. Cleary

#kittens #money #observational-comedy #observations #money

You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death.

— Brian P. Cleary

#beginning #books #death #done #end

When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punch line to a joke.

— Brian P. Cleary

#finding #going #interest #joke #kid

About Brian P. Cleary

Did you know about Brian P. Cleary?

He also tours the U. He has also written humor essays for national and local magazines and newspapers. Cleary (born October 1 1959 in Lakewood Ohio) is an American humorist poet and author.

Brian P. He is best known for his books that explore grammar in humorous ways written for grade-school children.

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