#funny

i think that i was a rat in rat wheel in my previous life... can not forget the habit ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#funny #time #work #business

To be the best, you have to be willing to do what nobody does. And today, if nobody reads and nobody works hard, then you also have to give up reading and become lethargic to be successful. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #lethargic #reading #success #change

When I see a poor person I think of me, and then I think, maybe I should pay my clones for all the work they do for me. Then I think, nah, they’re only slaves. Through my clones, I am a slave to myself.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #funny #humor #poor #slaves

It's a funny thing - when I'm crazed with work, spending time with my children relaxes me. Yet, at the end of a long weekend with them, the very thing I need to relax is a little work and time away from them! ↗

— Emily Giffin

#children #crazed #end #funny #funny thing

To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dinner #funny #humor #perfect-date #sex

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever. ↗

— Gilbert Gottfried

#being funny #comedian #funny #given #i

You didn't want to laugh, did you? It wasn't very funny, was it? ↗

— Graham Kennedy

#funny #laugh #very #want #you

If you don’t know what love feels like, you’re in luck, because I just finished making a new pair of Love Gloves. They’re lined with fur and are perfect for a cold February 14th winter day. I’ll let you borrow them sometime, maybe even this summer. I recommend wearing them in conjunction with my Sensitivity Pants, which are so tight they show the emotion betrayed by your crotch. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

Britain's a funny place and there's a lot of funny people coming out of there and a lot of people are finding mediums to express themselves. ↗

— Brendan Coyle

#coming #express #finding #funny #funny people

But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, people laugh. If it's not, they don't. ↗

— Steve Coogan

#funny #laugh #people #premise #simple