#funny

You see much more of your children once they leave home. ↗

— Lucille Ball

#children #home #leave #more #much

The guy thought he was Mick Jagger. I felt bad for him. ↗

— Kami Garcia

#humor #mick-jagger #beauty

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#deadlines #fly #i #i love #like

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. ↗

— Joey Adams

#about #avoid #avoiding #grow #older

If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny? ↗

— Casey Affleck

#funny #going #how #humor #i

I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny. ↗

— Jason Alexander

#character #funny #him #i #makes

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. ↗

— Fred Allen

#annoy #especially #i #like #long

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. ↗

— Fred Allen

#changed #choir #church #first #first time

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is a form of service journalism. To be successful, I think it has to be a combination of a good story, it has to be funny, and it also needs to be packed with useful information. ↗

— Ted Allen

#combination #eye #form #funny #good

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. ↗

— Woody Allen

#am #else #i #i am #life