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I’m not sure how the ponies happened, though I have an inkling: “Can I get you anything?” I’ll say, getting up from a dinner table, “Coffee, tea, a pony?” People rarely laugh at this, especially if they’ve heard it before. “This party’s ‘sposed to be fun,” a friend will say. “Really? Will there be pony rides?” It’s a nervous tic and a cheap joke, cheapened further by the frequency with which I use it. For that same reason, it’s hard to weed it out of my speech – most of the time I don’t even realize I’m saying it. There are little elements in a person’s life, minor fibers that become unintentionally tangled with your personality. Sometimes it’s a patent phrase, sometimes it’s a perfume, sometimes it’s a wristwatch. For me, it is the constant referencing of ponies. I don’t even like ponies. If I made one of my throwaway equine requests and someone produced an actual pony, Juan-Valdez-style, I would run very fast in the other direction. During a few summers at camp, I rode a chronically dehydrated pony named Brandy who would jolt down without notice to lick the grass outside the corral and I would careen forward, my helmet tipping to cover my eyes. I do, however, like ponies on the abstract. Who doesn’t? It’s like those movies with the animated insects. Sure, the baby cockroach seems cute with CGI eyelashes, but how would you feel about fifty of her real-life counterparts living in your oven? And that’s precisely the manner in which the ponies clomped their way into my regular speech: abstractly. “I have something for you,” a guy will say on our first date. “Is it a pony?” No. It’s usually a movie ticket or his cell phone number. But on our second date, if I ask again, I’m pretty sure I’m getting a pony. And thus the Pony drawer came to be. It’s uncomfortable to admit, but almost every guy I have ever dated has unwittingly made a contribution to the stable. The retro pony from the ‘50s was from the most thoughtful guy I have ever known. The one with the glitter horseshoes was from a boy who would later turn out to be straight somehow, not gay. The one with the rainbow haunches was from a librarian, whom I broke up with because I felt the chemistry just wasn’t right, and the one with the price tag stuck on the back was given to me by a narcissist who was so impressed with his gift he forgot to remover the sticker. Each one of them marks the beginning of a new relationship. I don’t mean to hint. It’s not a hint, actually, it’s a flat out demand: I. Want. A. Pony. I think what happens is that young relationships are eager to build up a romantic repertoire of private jokes, especially in the city where there’s not always a great “how we met” story behind every great love affair. People meet at bars, through mutual friends, on dating sites, or because they work in the same industry. Just once a coworker of mine, asked me out between two stops on the N train. We were holding the same pole and he said, “I know this sounds completely insane, bean sprout, but would you like to go to a very public place with me and have a drink or something...?” I looked into his seemingly non-psycho-killing, rent-paying, Sunday Times-subscribing eyes and said, “Sure, why the hell not?” He never bought me a pony. But he didn’t have to, if you know what I mean. ↗
... Other students lived on campus and got drunk at parties. Other students dated and graduated and got married and led normal lives. She wanted to marry an ex-con and pretend being kidnapped had been a normal thing she could forget about. ... ↗
When I was a teenager, most fathers tended to go berserk when I asked their daughters on a date.... I discovered that all fathers go berserk when their daughters start dating. I have to assume this was because all fathers were once teenagers at some point in their lives, so they had no illusions about whether or not the boys were “up to something. ↗
From the book jacket: In this first biography of Edmund Gerald Brown Jr. in more than thirty years, Chuck McFadden explores the unique persona of one of the most idiosyncratic politicians in California history. Son of California political royalty and creator of his own political style against the tumultuous backdrop of a huge, balkanized state with a constantly shifting political terrain, Jerry Brown plumbed his visionary impulses as well as his grand ambitions. McFadden traces Brown’s childhood in San Francisco, his time studying for the priesthood, his unusual political career, and his romances—including a long-term relationship with singer Linda Ronstadt. He describes Brown’s first two terms as governor advocating for farmworkers, women, and minorities; his time roaming the world in a spiritual quest; and his return to the gritty world of politics as chairman of the California Democratic Party and then mayor of Oakland. Political experts weigh in with thoughts about the remarkable 2010 campaign that saw the 72-year-old Brown winning his third term as governor while being vastly outspent by Republican Meg Whitman. Concise, insightful, and enlivened by the events and personalities that colored the history of California, Trailblazer provides an intimate portrait of the pugnacious, adept politician who has bucked national trends to become a leader of one of the largest economies in the world. Some blurbs about "Trailblazer" from California political experts and authors: “While the details of the governor’s life and career are well known, this book is an invaluable addition to what has been written about him. McFadden’s account of his lifelong intellectual and spiritual growth is detailed and perceptive. As the author points out, this combination of the intellectual, spiritual, and political has shaped Brown’s life and explains the contradictions that have long intrigued America.” Bill Boyarsky, author of Ronald Reagan, His Life and Rise to the Presidency “If you still wonder if Jerry Brown was born on another planet, Chuck McFadden will set you straight, firmly grounding this political enigma in California’s peculiar twentieth-century realities.” Joe Matthews, coeditor, Zócalo Public Square “What makes Jerry run? Trailblazer offers a new generation of Californians a fresh and up-to-date look at the many lives, campaigns, and contradictions of their once-was and now-again governor, Jerry Brown—reckless and cautious, spiritual and pragmatic, reformer and status-quo stalwart—in all their chameleon glory.” Mark Paul, coauthor, California Crackup: How Reform Broke the Golden State and How We Can Fix It “A thoughtful and enlightening contribution to the literature on one of California's ‘most idiosyncratic politicians,’ this book perceptively analyzes the tensions between the spiritual and the pragmatic that have shaped Jerry Brown's approach to, and philosophy of, governance and politics. McFadden vibrantly and accurately portrays the parallel evolution of California's ‘new/old governor’ and the political system that defines him and that he helped define.” Sherry Bebitch Jeffe, Ph.D., Senior Fellow, Sol Price School of Public Policy, University of Southern California University of California Press ↗
