#humor

33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#age #birth #bizarre #child #children

I’ve got a way with love. Away with love. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #sad #age

Face it girls. I'm older and I have more insurance. ↗

— Fannie Flagg

#age

Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #moon #age

If love were a variety of dog, I’d want mine hot. I’d take my love with ketchup and mustard. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #ridiculous #wife

Don’t just stand there with your Eiffel Tower smile. Tell me you love me, and tell me in French.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #women #age

I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#funny #humor #intense #intensity #love

If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #penis #think #age