#humor

It was the short men that caused all the trouble in the world. ↗

— Ian Fleming

#men #short #trouble #humor

A brick could be used to enhance your sex life. So what are you waiting for? Get that gerbil out of your pants
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a PRA, or Person Replacement Apparatus. Just give the brick a name, start talking to it, and before you know it you've got a friend for life. Say, do you want to brick swap? 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time! ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor #humor

Humpty had always sat on walls, it was his way. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humpty-dumpty #humor

I'm glad you escaped, Kyra," Fred said, looking serious again. "And that I found you." "Me too," Kyra said, glancing up at him. "It wouldn't have been much of a life trying to live in the dumbwaiter." Fred leaned down and kissed Kyra full on the lips. Kyra pulled away. "How do you know I'm interested in you? Just because you've decided I'm worth hanging around for doesn't mean I feel the same way." Fred cocked his head at her. "Really?" "Oh, okay," Kyra said. Then she kissed him back. ↗

— Bridget Zinn

#fred #humor #kyra #poison #romance

A brick could be used as a symbol for the kind of life I’m trying to build. The question now is, what kind of life am I trying to build? Well, I guess I want stability, longevity, and I’d like it two stories, with the second story being fiction, or even pseudo nonfiction, if that makes sense in its nonsensicality. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Alexia's books called this end of the vampire life cycle dissanimation. Alexia, who thought the action astoundingly similar to a soufflé going flat, decided at that moment to call it the Grand Collapse. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#humor #vampire #life

When people keep telling you that you can’t do a thing, you kind of like to try it. ↗

— Margaret Chase Smith

#people #trying #humor

While writing is like a joyful release, editing is a prison where the bars are my former intentions and the abusive warden my own neuroticism. ↗

— Tiffany Madison

#editing #editing-humor #editors #joy #neurosis