#amp

Oh, so there were angels and demons, but no vampires? No mysterious, super hot bloodsuckers who would love you forever? Now that was totally unfair. ↗

— Alycia Linwood

#vampires #funny

Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory. ↗

— Molly Harper

#jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #vampire #funny

V.L.A.D.: Vampire League Against Discrimination. ↗

— Carrie Vaughn

#funny #humor #vampires #vlad #funny

An understanding washed over Darren. “You plan on me running.” “For many, many years.” The crooked smile on Trent’s mouth sent a shiver throughout my body. He was utterly dangerous when he wanted to be. - Vampyre Kisses ↗

— Elizabeth J. Kolodziej

#the-last-which-series #vampires #vampyre-kisses #werewolf #witches

Count yourself fortunate." He made an elegant sweep of his hand toward the sun. "Daylight does not make them turn to ash, but they become bloody damn infants, whinging on about irritated eyes and sluggish limbs and so forth. ↗

— Lynn Viehl

#humor #vampire #funny

First bubble baths. Now Disney parks. You're shattering every creep vampire myth I've ever heard. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#kira #mencheres #myth #vampires #humor

Dimitri's voice snapped my attention back to him. "That's Adrian Ivashkov." He said the name the same way everyone else did. "Yeah, I know." "This is the second time I've seen you with him." "Yeah," I replied glibly. "We hang out sometimes." Dimitri arched an eyebrow, then jerked his head back toward where we'd come from. "You hang out in his room a lot?" Several retorts popped into my head, and then a golden one took precedence. "What happens between him and me is none of your business." I managed a tone very similar to the one he'd used on me when making a similar comment about him and Tasha. "Actually, as long as you're at the Academy, what you do is my business." "Not my personal life. You don't have any say in that. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#love #rose-hathaway #vampire-academy #business

You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab. "Don't use the same beaker you used for poisons!" Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. "I mean it! ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #myrnin #rachel-caine

Oh for craps sake. You're not dying again, are you? It's seriously inconvenient when you do that." -Aphrodite ↗

— P.C. Cast

#burned #house-of-night #humor #paranormal #vampire

Myrnin, who hadn't said much, suddenly reached out and wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened, shocked, and for a panicked second wondered whether he'd suddenly decided to snack on her neck... but it was just a hug. His body felt cold against hers, and way too close, but then he let go and stepped back. "You've done very well. I'm extremely proud of you," he said. There was a touch of color high in his pale cheeks. "Do go home now. And shower. You reek like the dead." Which, coming from a vampire, was pretty rich. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin