#ants

C: What do you get when a giant sneezes? Out of the way. - Marigold ↗

— Jean Ferris

#giants #joke #funny

One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#new-york-city #shoehorn-with-teeth #they-might-be-giants #new-york-city

I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool. ↗

— Tina Fey

#humor #memoir #humor

Man wants three things; life, knowledge, and love. ↗

— Fulton J. Sheen

#life #love #wants #life

From time to time, you may see a girl wearing her black opaque tights as pants. They are, in fact, not. ↗

— Nina Garcia

#fashion #humor #pants #style #tights

All right. Let's give you something to tell your grandkids about. Or great-grandkids. Or great-great-grandkids." I snort with glee, delirious with excitement. Charlie winks and pours me another finger's worth of whiskey. Then, on second thought, he tips the bottle again. I reach out and grab its neck. "Better not," I say. "Don't want to get tipsy and break a hip. ↗

— Sara Gruen

#water-for-elephants #humor

On my first album I was wearing a lot of guys pants, baggy clothes and stuff like that. I was 17 and I was a little tomboy. And you would never see me wearing a dress or heels on my first record. ↗

— Avril Lavigne

#baggy #clothes #dress #first #guys

I have no respect to merchants and preachers; as far as I’m concerned, their only talent is coming up with the right word at the right time. What is a professional preacher, really? He is a kind of middleman who for the wrong reasons tries to make people buy his goods. The more he sells, the more his stock rises. The louder he hawks his wares, the larger his business grows. ↗

— Knut Hamsun

#preachers #business

He wanted most of all the people of his own mind, people with whom he could really talk, people he could harangue and scold by the hour, servants, you see, to his fancy. Among these people he was always self-confident and bold. They might talk, to be sure, and even have opinions of their own, but always he talked last and best. He was like a writer busy among the figures of his brain, a kind of tiny blue-eyed king he was, in a six-dollar room facing Washington Square in the city of New York. ↗

— Sherwood Anderson

#kingdom #servants #business

Sure, cried the tenant men, but it's our land. We measured it and broke it up. We were born on it, and we got killed on it, died on it. Even if it's no good, it's still ours. That's what makes it ours-being born on it, working it, dying on it. ↗

— John Steinbeck

#land #life-and-death #tenants #death