#heads

Hey! Guy with scary eyes?" Madison called out. "You know what a moose does when someone insults her family?" Ivan raised his eyebrows. "She does this." Madison crouched down and charged Ivan. Her head hit him in the stomach. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#madison-holt #moose #the #family

When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn. ↗

— Mark Twain

#elitism #humor #redheads #humor

On the drive to Marv's office, Paul started nodding off again. Lacey had brought along a spray bottle for that very eventuality. She used it unremittingly. Paul's anger proved to be the most sobering elixir yet. ↗

— Lisa Lutz (Heads You Lose)

#anger

The nice thing about being an empty-headed pessimist is that that your glass is only half air. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #pessimism #funny

Just-In Bieber- A man of bowled hair. ↗

— Dead Guy

#humor #justin-bieber #humor

That, they never could lay their heads upon their pillows; that, they could never tolerate the idea of their wives laying their heads upon their pillows; that, they could never endure the notion of their children laying their heads on their pillows; in short , that there never more could be , for them or theirs , any laying of heads upon pillows at all , unless the prisioner's head was taken off. The Attorney General during the trial of Mr. Darnay ↗

— Charles Dickens

#dickens #funny #heads #humor #funny

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer. ↗

— Mahatma Gandhi

#better #bowing #give #heads #heart

Red hair is my life long sorrow. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#life

Heads are so overdressed in their natural state, it is offensive not to wear a hat to cover them up. The policy of removing hats in public buildings is extremely irreverent. We should just have guillotines at the door instead and spare everyone the awkwardness of having to look each other in the brow. ↗

— Bauvard

#guillotine #hats #heads #humor #irreverent

I want to name one of my sons “For Sale.” That way, not only would he make an excellent politician, but even after his death his children could benefit from his name through his headstone, which would read “For Sale: 904.555.4272. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #headstone #politics #death