#ants

Vowels were something else. He didn't like them and they didn't like him. There were only five of them, but they seemed to be everywhere. Why, you could go through twenty words without bumping into some of the shyer consonants, but it seemed as if you couldn't tiptoe past a syllable without waking up a vowel. Consonants, you know pretty much where you stood, but you could never trust a vowel. ↗

— Jerry Spinelli

#grammar #maniac #syllable #vowels #grammar

Well," he said, "I think we've found our way in. We just wait until they're duking it out, but trust me, these Humans First types don't have a lot of staying power or they'd have been at the gym with me before. I doubt Grandma Kent there is going to do a lot of damage." He pointed at a gray-haired, hunched lady in a shawl, carrying what looked liked a gardening tool. "It's like Plants Versus Zombies, and I'm not rooting for the zombies, weirdly enough. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#human #humor #plants #shane #zombie

Ant 1: So, uh, do you ever worry that your itsy little neck is just going to snap under the weight of your head? Ant 2: Stop asking me that. You ask me that, like, every five minutes. Ant 1: Sometimes I notice my antennae out of the corner of my eye and I'm all, like: AHH! Something is on me! Get it off! Get it off! Ant 2: Yeah, the antennae again. Listen, I just remembered, I have to go walk around aimlessly now. ↗

— Jim Benton

#ants #funny #funny

Bursar?" "Yes, Archchancellor?" "You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?" "Me? No, Archchancellor." "Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#secret-society #underpants #humor

It's a miracle I was able to get out of the house today. It's a miracle I'm even wearing pants, a double miracle I remembered to wear shoes. ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#miracle #pants #shoes #humor

One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#new-york-city #shoehorn-with-teeth #they-might-be-giants #new-york-city

Man wants three things; life, knowledge, and love. ↗

— Fulton J. Sheen

#life #love #wants #life

From time to time, you may see a girl wearing her black opaque tights as pants. They are, in fact, not. ↗

— Nina Garcia

#fashion #humor #pants #style #tights

If nuclear power plants are safe, let the commerical insurance industry insure them. Until these most expert judges of risk are willing to gamble with their money, I'm not willing to gamble with the health and safety of my family. ↗

— Donna Reed

#family #gamble #health #i #industry

When we seed millions of acres of land with these plants, what happens to foraging birds, to insects, to microbes, to the other animals, when they come in contact and digest plants that are producing materials ranging from plastics to vaccines to pharmaceutical products? ↗

— Jeremy Rifkin

#birds #come #contact #digest #happens