#ark

Nothing can unman you like an un-man. ↗

— Chuck Hogan

#strain #unman #humor

You have to figure that there is something seriously wrong with somebody who wants to enter a profession that deals with whether people are screwing enough. Dealing with spirits, spooks, and demons almost seemed normal. ↗

— Tom Upton

#humor #psychiatry #young-adult #humor

I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails. ↗

— Andrew Lawrence

#humor

How many kids are in the Graveyard?" "A bunch." "Who sends your supplies?" "George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget." "How often do you receive new arrivals?" "About as often as you beat your wife. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#humorous #risa-ward #sarcasm #sarcastic #snark

Love is a madness. Love is Failer - Durzo Blint ↗

— Brent Weeks

#fantasy #humor

Oh, the boots were on the other eight feet now. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#bartimaeus #bartimaeus-trilogy #humor #humor

My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin. ↗

— Deanne Smith

#humor

He sits next to me, careful to avoid my hair that's splayed out around my head like blood. A bullet to the forehead, boom, blond waves everywhere. ↗

— Lauren DeStefano

#humor

Do I look like a shallow Summer girl to you?' She tossed her silver hair, offended. 'I’m a Winter Court royal. I kill silly Summer flowerlets with frost when I yawn. ↗

— Vicki Keire

#seasons #supernaturals #humor

This “who’s on top” banter continues until one wrestler (who has slyly gone to hide behind a chair) leaps upon his rival with an animal cry. The pair then proceeds to create a series of tableaux that appear to be from the Kama Sutra, Vatsyayana’s ancient Indian textbook of carnal satisfaction. Occasionally, the tension is broken by a wrestler who picks up a large object, such as a table, to throw on the other’s head, as if suddenly disgusted by his forbidden love. ↗

— Lady Arabella Snark

#pro-wrestling #snark #humor